M-A-R-C-Y

The Makeup Drawer

2012-02-17T11:28:00.000-08:00

I have a routine of putting on my best face each morning, which involves a number of lotions, potions, and notions in my makeup drawer. Inevitably, the occasion happens where I can't find something, although I know it's in the drawer. Either a tube has rolled up under something making it invisible, another item is upside down and I don't recognize it, or a pencil is just thin enough to where I'm looking for a needle in haystack. After lots of rummaging around and frustration, I always find the item, because those items always stay in that drawer - so they have to be there!

This morning I was thinking about the face I put on every morning that requires no makeup, but rather a heart check. It involves smiles, frowns, puckers, furrowing eyebrows, or sometimes a happy eyes. The same occasion happens to where some mornings I just can't find that smile, although I know it's there. Either a disappointment has obscured my smile, or the blahs have set in just enough to turn my smile upside down. And again, after lots of rummaging around in my mind and heart, a little rearranging of my attitude, the face I want to wear emerges because - it was always there!

The face I wear can either be painted on, or it can emerge as I get things in order - or both! When both routines end up in success, I can close the drawer, turn off the light, walk away from the mirror and know I'm set for the day - until the next morning - when the rearranging and rummaging begins once again.

A Gross Error

2012-02-16T15:40:00.000-08:00

Everyone messes up. Everyone slips a word they hope no one hears. Some lose their temper and are relieved no one saw. Some lie and sigh, when they are never found out. The shame we feel when we've done wrong is easily wiped away when we ask forgiveness, and it's easy to go on...when no one knows what we've done.

But what if we mess up in a big way? What if someone slips a curse toward a child that damages their self-esteem forever? What if the lost temper includes a swing of an arm, and a scar is left behind? And what if that lie ruins another person's life? The shame when we are found out is hard to bear, hard to forget, and the regret runs deep.

So do we easily excuse the sins no one knows about, and raise an eyebrow to those we hear about in others? Do we hope our friends remain our friends when our hidden faults stay hidden, but stay away from those who've stunned us and hurt us by their visible actions?

It's worth thinking about. Loving someone when they've made a gross error in no ways means we're condoning or agreeing with what they've done. But it does mean we're seeing them hanging up on display for all to see their shame and humiliation, and the words and kindnesses we offer may result in whether or not the person ends up restored...or rejected.

FOG

2012-02-15T07:11:00.000-08:00

Not sure why the weather fascinates me so much, but it does. I have a weather radio and I love it when there's something brewing, "out to the west," or coming down from Canada. Today...the fog was interesting to me. I decided to walk on a trail after I picked up my work, even though the air was wet, and I could barely see.

Usually when I walk, it's clear and sunny - I admire the blue sky, the pretty landscape, and feel the crisp wind on my face - and it's oh so pleasant. There was nothing but gray today, the landscape was obscured by the thickness of the fog, the wind was still, and I was blanketed with tiny wet, nasty drops.

As I walked, I thought of how we always want clear days in our walk with Him too, where we can see his goodness above, the clear path ahead, and "feel" his spirit all around us. Makes for a happy-go-lucky life. But just because some days start out in the fog doesn't mean any of the above mentioned niceties of the day are less present, they're just less visible...for a while. The fog always lifts, the gray skies always turn blue, and path always becomes clear again...when the sun burns away the fog.

Actually, I enjoyed the fog this morning. I happen to like all sorts of weather manifestations, because I am intrigued by what I cannot control and how quickly the sky can change. I suppose I rest in the fact that the wind always blows, so if I don't like the fog today...the sun will be out tomorrow. Sounds like the lyrics of a cool song...

When the Clouds go Rolling by...

2012-02-13T09:11:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, even though I KNOW God is faithful, he has always supplied my needs, and I have no need to worry, those doubtful thoughts creep in, sort of like a cloud that comes out of nowhere and covers the sun. And so on my knees I go, apologizing to God for not trusting him, and doubting him once again...even though I know better. But it hit me this morning that it's not really that I doubt him, because that would be absurd. I've walked with him long enough to know who He is. And it's not even that my faith is weak, because in my heart of hearts I know how things WILL work together for good.

So what is it? I came to the sober realization that it's simply that I don't want to have faith and trust some days. When things are hard, news of tragedy hits, finances are a struggle, worry knocks at the door, etc. it's hard to turn my eyes off of those clouds and look at the sun. It's much easier to sulk, sit under a tree, and whine. It takes effort, and it's my choice, whether or not to stand and rejoice that the wind will blow, and the clouds will roll by.

Here are the lyrics to a little song I wrote when my kids were little:

When the clouds go rolling by, you wonder how they do
They don't have skates, they don't have shoes, so how do they do what they do?
Does somebody pull 'em, does somebody push 'em, or do they float in the sky?
Or sometimes does the wind just blow when the clouds go rolling by?

I need that childlike vision that marvels at how the clouds roll by, instead of if they ever will.

Hang Your Drapes Crooked

2012-02-11T06:06:00.000-08:00

Everything in life doesn't have to be perfect. And for those who live under a taskmaster that criticizes, belittles, or comes along behind you and "corrects," I hope one day you have the freedom to hang your drapes crooked.

I think of the movie Chocolat where the priest, who's so bound up by religiousity, finally can no longer resist the chocolates in the store window and he ends up sitting in that window stuffing his face. The chocolate had been "forbidden" because it was sweet and desirous, not sinful. I think of some who adhere to a list of "acceptable behavior" so tightly that they wear a scowl, perhaps because it's so hard to perform under such a heavy load. I once read in a book that some associate "fun" with "sin" so they never get a chance to enjoy anything. Not a way to live!

There's a you tube video that a friend shared of a 94-year old lady dancing (worth watching!)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LOdmka4_90 that brought tears to my eyes. What if that lady had been taught it was sinful to scoot around a dance floor to upbeat music, having the time of her life? What if someone told her she was too old to wear heels and a flapper-style dress? And what if her confidence had been shot with words of criticism over a misstep or two? I bet she would still be wearing that rainhat and coat, holding on to a walker, and sitting on the sidelines just wishing for a chance to dance...

So I say, whether you're redecorating your home and hanging drapes, or learning a new craft, or just trying out a new walk in your neighborhood - go for it. Hang those drapes crooked, get the glue all over your hands, and take a side street you've never been on before. Loving Christ and following Him is about obedience to live as he lived - yes - restrained by His Father's love for all - but free to express that love, live that love, and give that love in creative ways we have yet to imagine!

The (wo)man in the mirror

2012-02-06T05:29:00.000-08:00

It's a well-known fact by those who know me best that I have lots of pet peeves, a list of people I know who are "normal" and those who are "bizarre" (and I joke that the bizarre list grows longer by the day...), and by those who know me really well - that I get irritated by others too much.

Well here in my 5th decade of life (that makes me sound "young!") I'm still learning lessons and growing in my knowledge of HIM, which is a good thing, right?

I've been irritated lately by others who seem "fake" or a bit too "dramatic" and I'm sure that in my irritation I've judged them - NOT GOOD. So as is my common practice, I feel bad about those feelings and pray, all the time hoping God will see their faults and help them change... So as HIS common practice, He turns the mirror back on me so that I can see the reflection of my face as I screw it up trying to figure out why these folks irritate me so much.

I finally realized something. If they are really doing something to offend others, it's not my job to judge or to criticize. Somehow I must have thought that praying for them would change "them" as I was surely justified in my irritation. But in reality, and in faith, IF they are doing something wrong - He's for sure big enough to talk to them himself without my intervention. And IF the problem lies with my vision, He's for sure big enough to give me corrective lenses so I can see clearly to work on the flaws in my own expression.

Sounds like a simple revelation, but I finally get it - at least I hope so. I don't need to waste so much energy wishing they would change, I can give that up to HIM. And work on changing me...

I tried it yesterday and it was a choice I had to make, but it worked. The thoughts of judgment did pass by...but that's just it...they passed by....

Frozen Stiff

2012-01-31T14:14:00.000-08:00

Sometimes water pipes get frozen, or the faucet gets rusted out, and the water just can't flow. It doesn't matter if a wrench is used to loosen a stuck faucet, if the water is stopped up somewhere back in the line, it's not going to come out. Someone with expertise and skill has to dig deep to find out where the blockage occurred and remove it, so the water can flow once again.

I know some people like that. They were wounded or traumatized as a kid, a teenager, or even an adult, and the water of life stopped flowing. They are frozen with fear, rusted out with anger, or just clogged up from lies. It doesn't matter how much coaxing good friends do, or how much ministry counselors offer...if the water can't flow...it can't flow. "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink might be true," and the same is true of a clogged water supply in the heart of a believer. You can give them all sorts of tools, but if the water's not flowing, the tools are useless.

So what do we, as friends, do? We pray. We pray for that little kid inside of our friend to be healed, restored, and loved by HIM. We don't give up. We ask for a light to shine on the source of the problem so it can be fixed. We love. Love is warm, and it can thaw out the most frozen of pipes, so that the pipes don't burst. And finally, we trust. Trust in the source of the water that never runs dry, to burst through like a geyser that shoots up so that those who see it stand in awe and amazement...

What if...

2012-01-30T20:03:00.000-08:00

I've often wanted to be a dictator just for the sheer joy of swapping salaries between NFL players and teachers. In my estimation, "most" of the NFL players need to be taught a bit more (or perhaps learn what they were taught) and teachers could certainly use the big bucks in order to raise their families and continue in a profession that is so misunderstood and abused. Teachers are expected to babysit, build character, train kids using behavior techniques, and oh yes - make them scholars. All for spare change. NFL players are expected to knock other players down in order to get a little funny-shaped ball, talk tough when interviewed, and make their coaches proud. All for millions...that they truly do not deserve.

I realize America thrives on the money that sports brings in, the alcohol that is sold, and commercials that rise to fame during the Super Bowl. However, I personally cannot bear to watch professional sports or give them any of my attention. I don't get it. I don't understand the attraction, and I don't see why grown men want to be famous for a few years for a sport that leaves them banged up, messed up, oh - and rich. I guess that's it.

I know some teachers shouldn't be teaching. But for those out there who love kids, love learning, and see their profession as a "calling," kudos to you. I hope you get your just reward - kids that return to thank you, students that grow up to better our world with cures for diseases, and multitudes of children knowing that someone believed in them. That's worth more than any stack of the green stuff.

Teachers deserve the millions, and I think they would be grateful and invest it back into their students. But I don't know that. They too might lose their mind when the money rolls in, and then succumb to the same dumb pursuit of fame, glory, and self.

I'm watching college basketball right now and wondering how many play to enjoy the game, or are looking forward for the fame. And I'm wondering if there are teachers at home grading papers, hoping James will make the grade, and the college bound kid will receive financial aid.

I'm going to take a bath now, the time and place where I do most of my thinking...

Skipping

2012-01-27T06:52:00.001-08:00

I absolutely love my children. I get pure pleasure out of just being with them. We can be eating dinner, playing a game, watching a show, or just hanging out...I NEVER tire of seeing their faces, hearing their voices, or watching them do what they do. And they're grown! Now my daughter and her husband have a baby, and I could watch his expressions and look at his face all day, and never grow tired.

It hit me the other day that God feels the same way about me. I'm often busy feeling guilty about not doing enough, wondering if I'm pleasing him with my attitudes and thoughts, or hoping He will find me good enough to answer my prayers. What a waste of my time and energy! He just enjoys hanging with me and looking at what He's created! He likes sitting with me, going places with me, and just looking into my face! And...He never grows tired of me.

When I actually get this concept to slide from my head wall the way down into my heart, it makes my day brighter, my heaviness lighter, and makes me want to skip down the sidewalk. I might just do it today! And He will be right there with me holding my hand...

The Bible Can Help

2012-01-17T16:05:00.000-08:00

Cymbalta and Lunesta...the list of possible side effects is enough to make you more depressed and perhaps suicidal...so I've come up with my own take on a commercial for depression:

Depression Hurts. The Bible can help. Approved for all ages, and you do not have to see a doctor for a prescription. Those taking the Word and ingesting it may experience possible side effects:

increase in hopeful thoughts,calm stomach and a thirst for more, sweet taste in the mouth, unusual changes in behavior such as less aggressiveness and inability to be agitated, thoughts of eternal life. Other medical conditions may improve, clarity and lowering of blood pressure, less falls, and the ability to walk straight. Can be taken with or without food. Do not drive machinery, as hands may leave the steering wheel and go upwards...

You are encouraged to report any side effects to a pastor or counselor who administers this "drug" on a regular basis so that they can help you as you add the Word to your daily routine.

Hard Things

2012-01-10T14:40:00.000-08:00

Hard things, things that last, and imperative things seem to take work and time. It only takes a minute to slip and fall, and break a bone. But it takes months for the healing process to take place. In a second, ugly words are spoken and sometimes the healing from those loose cannons never happens. And a glass can shatter and shock, but the clean up of all those shards and pieces? Well, sometimes they're not all discovered until you cut your foot on one lone sliver when you dare to cross the floor barefoot again.

It's interesting to me that we always want a quick fix. Waiting and hobbling around, not being able to do what you want, is hard while a bone heals. It's not fun. Rethinking, forgiving, forgetting seems almost impossible when you're hurt - yet it's a must for a healthy heart! And who wants to clean up shards of glass? I just broke a glass yesterday and in all honestly, it only took five minutes to sweep up the pieces...but that five minutes made me mad.

So I guess I've been thinking that I need to be careful about the quick things I desire, the answers to prayer "right now," and a fast-paced walk. I figure if I don't slip and fall, I work on my heart so my mouth doesn't fire, and I place delicate things where they won't get knocked around so easily, I might avoid lots of disasters and lengthy processes.

Darn, I just broke a pen and it shot across the room because I was using it for prying something loose - I guess I'll just get another - at least this time it's an easy fix :)

Newness

2012-01-03T13:16:00.000-08:00

It's a New Year, so why not try new things, right?

Today after a work meeting, I was hungry and decided to stop at The Arbor Walk, an outdoor shopping center, to get something to eat. As I opened my car door, the most delightful music was playing for all the shoppers to hear. Note to self: Music is definitely a mood lifter!

Then I saw a new place I had never stepped foot inside - Tootie's Pies. I ordered the most delicious vegetarian sandwich on wheat bread, went to my car and ate it with my windows cracked, listening to those fun tunes.

It didn't take much to make my first day back to the routine of work a little more enjoyable by just trying something new! I may make it a goal for the rest of the year, to make "new" an experience every day! I'm still smiling...

52 cards

2011-12-09T14:36:00.000-08:00

So many times I start praying and using what I call my "flash card" prayer with God. I have my 52-card deck of needs/wants and I start flashing them one by one in front of His face, as if he's a preschool kid that I'm trying to get to remember what's on the card. I lay them out one by one, pick up the deck, and start it all over again the next time I pray. Sound familiar?

It really wastes a lot of my time, and God's (I'm sure) when I flash the same 52 cards in front of him day after day,and it must really insult his intelligence. But thankfully, he's patient, kind, and loving to me. Here's what I felt He shared with me when I spilled the deck for the umpteenth time...

I saw this picture of me sitting on his lap, with those 52 cards laid out before him, around his feet in a circle. I realized he could see every one of them, and they were at his feet to "deal" with them. I could just rest as I observed him taking care of them one by one. It was a cool vantage point from his knee, and a restful place.

So I'm not going to play the 52 card pickup game today, gathering all my requests only to spill them again tomorrow. I'm leaving them there, laying at His feet - because He said "It's my deal."

Isn't that cool?

It's Our Nature

2011-12-07T06:45:00.000-08:00

We saw a movie months ago that caused us to change our eating habits...at least for a few weeks. I saw another movie years ago that moved me to tears, over and over again, and I became so thankful in my heart...at least for a while. The recent fires in Bastrop tore at my emotions and I wanted to volunteer to help those in need...at least when I had time. And Christmas songs and scenes stir me to give...at least once a year.

There's a reason for attending church services more than at Christmas, Easter, or for baptisms. It's because of our nature. We are moved, stirred, provoked to think, and prompted to change...but we need these actions over and over again in order to sustain our good living. We need reminders of His goodness, His love, and His provision in order to maintain our faith. Sure, there are hypocrites in the seats next to us, but who are we to judge? Maybe they are searching for sustenance, healing, and love...just like us.

I need to hear the Word, observe others in need and help them out as I can, and bless Him in giving honor and praise. And I need to do this often.

I'm going to the movies again this week, and I hope the story stirs me and moves me. But I know it won't last long, and I'll see another movie and be stirred once again. I'm going to church Sunday too, hoping for change in my heart as well. And I'm going again the next week, and as often as I can.

It's my nature to need reminders, prompters, and prodding...after all...I am like a silly sheep that might just fall off a cliff for no good reason at all...but thankfully, with other sheep around me, and the leading of the good Shepherd...I'll make it to the quiet waters and drink...often.

Three Words

2011-12-05T15:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we sang a song at church with this phrase in it, "author of salvation." I've heard and sang that song probably a hundred times without stopping to realize what that means.

I thought about my life and what it would look like if HE hadn't penned my story. Knowing my temperament, I don't think it would be a very interesting story, and I know it would not have a happy ending. There would be pages and pages of despair, no color illustrations, and who knows - it might be really short.

However, He saved me, rescued me, and set me free - penning an awesome story that's a blast to share! He is the author who is writing my story, even as I sit here writing this blog. He has developed a great character in me, flooded my pages with illustrations galore of His love and mercy, and there's hope on every page. And guess what else? I already know the ending!

So next time you hear the song "Mighty to Save" and you catch the phrase "author of salvation," think about the one who's writing your story. It's pretty awesome to take on His character, see His handiwork in the sky, and realize you're a vital part of the book - because you're family!

Author of salvation...my story...my song.

To the Right

2011-11-26T05:27:00.000-08:00

Walking down the aisle at Lowe's last night, to my right were all the Christmas decorations - the lights, the ornaments, all bright and attractively displayed. I happened to glance to my left, and on those shelves were all the containers and traps for those pests that get in your home and come up out of your grass - yes - fire ants, mice, etc. What a contrast. To the right - nothing but festivity and joy. To the left - nothing but disgust and distaste.

I was amused at my observation and how just walking down that one aisle at a hardware store depicted all of life. One view sees color, lights, action and anticipation at what's to come - the joy of living. One view sees icons of pests, instructions on how to not inhale unsafe powders, and large quantities of liquid to ensure nothing can cross the perimeter of where you live.

As I walked, I was aware of the pesticides, but for that moment I was shopping for Christmas, so I kept my focus to the right. Sure, that white powder sits in my garage on a shelf for timely use. But I want the festivity and joy of life to front and center on my doorstep, in my window, and in every corner of my house when guests step inside. That's real living...head turned...to the right.

They're Just Thirsty

2011-11-23T21:19:00.000-08:00

Our roses that we tended all summer just gave up and quit producing, looked heat worn, and added no color to our garden. Then the little bit of rain fell recently, and all of a sudden our garden is bursting with colorful roses! It's amazing what a little rain will do.

I know sometimes our children that we tend to and nurture also go through seasons of looking worn out, unattractive, and we just get tired of caring. But it's those times we have to keep loving, keep watering, and keep tending, so they don't "die." And above all else - pray. So that when the rain does fall, that tending you did - mixed with the rain from above - will once again produce color in their cheeks as the life flows again.

Sometimes our kids are just thirsty. And we just can't quit pulling out the hose, gently watering their tender roots, and praying for rain. They WILL drink, when the rain falls...and beauty will emerge once again.

2011-11-11T20:42:00.000-08:00

Today we attended a funeral for a 93-year old family friend who passed peacefully in her sleep. That's the way I want to go! While at the funeral, I saw another friend who recently lost her husband suddenly - too young. It seemed so strange to see her alone. Another man who lost his wife last year was at the funeral with his now girlfriend. We also said hello to a friend of our family who suffers from dementia, and I wasn't sure if he recognized me or not. I really don't like funerals, as the reality of death was there hanging like an old dusty, faded, heavy curtain.

Today...after the funeral....we met my daughter and her husband for lunch, and my parents got to hold Gideon...10 days old now. I saw innocence and peace as he slept and we ate. Not a care in the world on his shoulders. I want to live like that! We ate and watched Gideon's facial movements, and I saw complete love in the eyes of my parents as they held him close and he opened his eyes and studied their faces. I really like these observations, as the reality of new life arises like the dawn of a new day when the sun comes up and makes the dew sparkle before it melts away.

Death is imminent for all of us, if the earth continues for several more years. I can carry the scent and hues of the old heavy curtain, or I can thrive and marvel at new things, soft touches and perfect peace of the Son. I suppose seeing both the old...and the new...all in a matter of a few hours makes for an emotional day, to say the least.

One left and another is born. One book has ended, and we're just in the first chapter of a new one. And one soul has taken flight while a new one is growing wings...

The Thawing Out Process

2011-11-08T19:44:00.000-08:00

I have a frozen shoulder. I have very limited range of motion, and I've been told I have to undergo extensive physical therapy to "unfreeze" it - which could take a year. So I've started...and it's painful...it's not fun...and I'm making very slow progress.

I have already grown to empathize with people who have chronic pain. And I've realized that I have to be disciplined, determined, and downright persistent to get this shoulder moving again.

I'm always making spiritual applications, so this frozen shoulder thing has me thinking. Why am I amazed at how hard it is to undo hardened areas in my heart, or places where I'm "stuck" and can't seem to change? Nothing will thaw out a cold heart except exercising it daily, working it often, and pushing it to the limit until little by little, over time, with constant effort - it's pumping in a healthy manner - and the blood is flowing without restriction.

I'm going for no restriction, no pain, and extensive range of motion with my shoulder - even though I'm in tears after each therapy session. It's the only way. The stony places in my heart deserve no less attention if I'm going for a heart that reaches and knows no limits. I know it's going to hurt, but hurt is not always a bad thing...when healing takes place.

Turns Out...

2011-11-04T11:40:00.000-07:00

A lady shows up at church with a small dog, and gets "snooty" looks from some of the people. Turns out...her dog is a service dog.
A teacher gossips that a fellow teacher doesn't even wave when she comes down the hall. Turns out...that teacher doesn't have her glasses on and can't see.
Turnips are cooked with potatoes and served to an unsuspecting young boy who doesn't like turnips. Turns out...turnips taste like potatoes!
A girl is judged as being "religious" because she won't listen to any secular music. Turns out...that music reminds her of when she got high on drugs while listening to it.
God sits in heaven and sees floods, tragedies, and deaths and is blamed for these "acts." Turns out...God rescues, heals, and offers eternal life!

Sometimes I judge, I talk, and I assume things...and it turns out...I'm wrong.

The Dichotomy of Life

2011-11-02T07:38:00.000-07:00

Having just entered "grandparenthood" I realize that although I'm overwhelmed with thankfulness and love for Gideon, I'm also overcome with the idea that being a grandparent means...well I'm "older." As I thought about this more, I began to see that all of life is a love/hate relationship, except in one area.

When in drought, I love the chance of rain. However, when it's been flooding, I hate the thought of rain.
When desiring a child, women love the idea of being pregnant and giving birth to something new. When the child comes, they hate the pain and the aftershock to their body.
When I'm hungry, I love a good meal with dessert. When I'm stuffed, I hate the thought of one more bite.
When visiting the hospital, I love the anticipation of seeing a new baby. When visiting the hospital, I hate the fact that someone is dying.
When too busy, I love the idea of an afternoon off to just "tool" around. When I'm bored, I hate the fact that there's nothing to do.

So we have these extremes...love/hate with almost everything in life.

However, all HE has for us is love. He never hates us. That thought blows my mind. We go back and forth with the two emotions on almost everything and every person we encounter. But he only loves us...

UP

2011-10-21T05:35:00.000-07:00

My dad's health is declining, but my daughter is about to deliver. And here I am in the middle of this timeline called "Life."

I try to see life more like a race, and this helps me cope. My parents are way ahead of me, they're tired, they are worn out, and they are so close to the finish line. I am running behind them, yet ahead of my kids, who are really just starting out with new life about to enter their household. When I look ahead I really don't like what I see, the fear in my mom's eyes as she looks back at me, and the pain in my dad's frail body as he continues on, steady but slow. When I look behind I me it's really surreal that my daughter is now starting her family, and my husband and I will be grand parents. I still cannot put those two words together yet...but it's coming.

Gideon James Wolfe is about to make his appearance, and I think "inexpressable joy" will be what we all feel and experience. More doctor's appointments and tests are still on the calendar for my dad, and I need "peace that passes all understanding" to await the results and be strong for my parents.

Stuck in the middle is not such a good place to be sometimes. I'm not sure whether to look ahead, or back. So I think I'll look up... From that vantage point, all is well and will be...forever and ever.

The Mix

2011-10-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

SO...if your life is like a glass of an incredibly delicious drink...consider the circumstance that all of the ingredients that make up that drink settle to the bottom. And those ingredients aren't really tasty by themselves, but mixed up in the drink, they make something worth swallowing.

Well today it seemed as if those settled ingredients of wounds, thoughts, disappointments, etc. were shaken up, or that someone or something inserted a stirring stick and violently mixed them up into the glass again. And it was a bit painful and irritating.

However, I know that all of those ingredients have to be mixed in, in order for my life to have flavor, and when they settle - a good stirring or shaking is in order from time to time in order for my life to be tasty to others. It's the mix that is presentable and palatable, not the individual items poured in.

All of the above hurts my head to ponder, but when the stirring is over and I'm being poured out again, I rest and realize that it's all part of the process of living...until the ingredients settle again...and the stirring starts up at the most unexpected time... to keep the flavor strong.

A Lump in my Throat

2011-10-09T19:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, you can believe it. Sometimes I doubt God. I wrestle with fear, and I just don't get Him. So...I get on my knees and ask Him to forgive me for doubting and for being afraid.

Just this week, I realized something. It's not doubt or fear that trip me up - because I really do believe in who He is, and I know he will always be there for me. The truth I realized about myself is that I just don't like His ways. Ouch. That was a strong realization.

Then I read Psalm 92:15 “The LORD is upright;he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.” And it hit me - I have been pulling God down to my level and thinking, "If he was really a "good" God, he would do things differently." In other words, I was seeing him as a wicked Father, so to speak. Earthly fathers are "wicked" - that's why we need a Savior. And earthly fathers make mistakes, and fail. But there is NO wickedness in HIM, and what he does is perfect.

I'm still chewing on what I tasted, and I'm praying a little differently about my attitude now. And it's more than humble pie I'm swallowing...it's my ugly pride. His ways are not my ways, and that's a good thing.

The Key

2011-09-23T12:45:00.000-07:00

Relationships. They are the cause for elation, the cause for frustration, and the most fragile thing in our lives...at least sometimes. I've often wondered just what it is that sets Christians (those who follow Christ) apart from non-Christians (those who don't). It can't be a non-sorrowful life - everyone encounters sorrow. It can't be abundant supply of money - even mean people are reach. And it can't be total health - we all will eventually die.

So my conclusion is that it's the relationship we have with HIM that sets us apart. Sorrow? Sure, it's going to come, but he's promised to bring joy in the morning. Money? Yep, we need it and he promises to meet our needs, but in HIS way and in HIS time. And health? He does heal the sick, but sometimes it's the healing inside the heart that takes precedence over the body.

Maybe that's why relationships are in such disarray right now. From the celebrity world, and even inside the walls of the church, relationships are in jeopardy, couples are fighting, and many are separating. If relationships can be busted up, whether it's a friendship, a courtship, or a marriage, then the very foundation of our faith can be shaken.

So relationship with HIM is the key. He supplies all that we need in a friend, a husband, a father, and Master, and He's the faithful one in the courtship that never fails, never leaves, and never even looks at us with disdain or disgust.

That's what sets us apart, so that's what we should be going after and sustaining - that beautiful relationship between us and HIM - the one that is eternal...

That Prayer

2011-09-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

Pray it with me...or sing it...today.

Our Father (how cool is it that the creator of the universe is my father!)
Who art in Heaven (he has a vantage point and sees it all!)
Hallowed be thy name (shhh...listen...wow....)
Thy Kingdom come (do we really want it?)
Thy will be done (it might not look like our will)
On earth, as it is in heaven (it's possible)
Give us this day our daily bread ("this day" and "daily" - it's emphasized twice - must mean we're not to worry about tomorrow...or yesterday)
And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors (can't hold that grudge)
And lead us not into temptation (he can quiet the one who tempts)
But deliver us from the evil one (he will!)
For thine is the kingdom (he reigns)
And the power (he can)
And the glory (over all the earth)
Forever....Amen (he never ceases to be)

Simple and Quick

2011-09-08T19:23:00.000-07:00

Tonite I made salsa. I used the Ultimate Chopper my son bought me years ago. It's small, the blade is fierce, and it chops in no time flat. I chopped tomatoes, cilantro, onions, garlic, pears, and green pepper, and what a mess it made!

I thought about putting the container, the blade, and the lid in the dishwasher, but it was full of clean dishes. I could have left it all overnight in the sink, but then the food would harden and be so hard to clean in the morning. So I opted to rinse each piece right away, and in a matter of about 2 minutes, it was clean, dried, and put away for next time.

As I put it up, I thought of how many times I've opted for the other choices listed above, and been sorry the next morning, or felt silly for letting it take up room in the dishwasher, when a quick cleanse was so effortless and easy.

Why can't I be like that when I've messed up, done wrong, or hurt someone? Instead of waiting, stowing it away to fester, I can just ask for a rinse with clear water immediately, and be wiped clean and dry in a jiffy! Seems so simple, yet I've made it so hard.

That salsa is going to taste so good...

Spoken Words

2011-09-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the things people say to us annoy us. But sometimes a friend or family member says something that sticks with us, changes us, and makes us a better person...forever. Here are a few of my faves:

Even if you mess up, it doesn't negate God's promises. Remember Abraham messed up, and God still gave him a son. (thanks, Denise)

I think you just pray and if you get no specific answer, you just go with what you feel and trust it's right. If it's not, then oh well - you can turn around. (thanks, mom)

If you start to feel embarrassed or self-conscious about something you've been bold enough to try, just envision water rolling off a duck's back, and let the embarrassement roll off just like that...and waddle on. (thanks Cindy)

I just believe God is who he said He is, and that's that. There's nothing to fear or worry about. (thanks, Jon)

You knew church before you knew God, and that's part of your problem. (thanks, John)

If your faith is weak, it's okay. I will have faith for you during this time. Just rest. (thanks, sis)

My mercies are new every morning, and my compassion never fails. (thanks, God)

A New Idea of Beauty

2011-09-01T07:21:00.000-07:00

We are a society obsessed with eating - what not to eat, what to eat, how much to eat, and how we can become thinner, healthier, and more beautiful if we eat right. Oh, and then there's that thing called exercise, which is also beneficial, and we're obsessed with that, too. A recent drive-by of a fitness center Monday evening revealed a parking lot full of cars, driven by those who want to feel good, look good, and live forever...

I'm all for eating healthy and exercising. It's a proven fact that both are necessary for optimal living. However, don't we have it all out of balance? As I age, I'm realizing the truth of that verse that says "beauty is vain..." and the other one about "bodily exercise profits little..." But the real gain in life is "godliness with contentment." Ouch! Haven't spent much time on that one!

So...what are we to do? Take a serious look at our spiritual diet and exercise, and see what kind of efforts we're making to eat healthy and exercise our faith. I love pizza and burgers just as much as anyone - but those foods are "crowd" food, "fun" food - which is just fine in its place. But I can't please the crowds all the time. I have to come away and sip a cup of tea with just me and HIM. And that weary, sluggish feeling from all that junk food just might disappear, and result in an instant "face lift," without changing my beauty regime at all...

It Was the Music

2011-08-28T17:50:00.000-07:00

Friday night we saw a "horror flick" about the origin of the tooth fairy. Weird premise, and horrible story, but as I watched, I found myself feeling afraid, anxious, in suspense, and all of the emotions one feels in a scary story. However, at one point I realized it was the music that was stirring these emotions - not what I was watching necessarily, nor the story line. And even with a lame story, the music moved me.

I have no idea how it really works, but I'm guessing the orchestra is given the movie and then they create the music to fit the scenes, enhancing the emotions, knowing just what notes to play, the minors, the majors, the tempo, the tone, etc. to move the audience to really experience the movie, not just watch it.

Music enhances any experience, it enriches our lives, and it excites the spirit. So when our lives feel a little drab, when what we're seeing seems to lack a good story line, or when there just that "something" that is missing - it might be a good time to sing, whistle a tune, play some notes, or find a great rhythm to play.

And when WE create the music to go with the scenes of our lives, we make a movie worth seeing, a story people talk about after the movie ends, and a legacy that affects generations to come.

Is your life a silent movie? Add some music...

For the Fearful

2011-08-24T12:46:00.000-07:00

Love has made me...unafraid. Those are the words in a song I heard this morning, and they've stayed with me today.
What's odd is that loving often makes people actually afraid. They've loved and weren't loved back,so they're afraid to love again. Or they loved and were betrayed, and they're afraid to reach out to love once more. Even people who love God get disappointed in unanswered prayers and are afraid to trust Him for what they need.
So...what kind of love makes us unafraid? It must not be our ability to love, because our love is conditional, fickle, and incomplete. Therefore, it must be HIS love. And the only way we become unafraid is by realizing just how great that love is.
And how is that realized? By walking through fire and coming out without a smell of smoke. By loving a child with all your being and being aware that HE loves you even more than that. And by accepting him as a good Father, trustworthy, just, and kind...even when he says "No."
It's hard for a sheep to trust a shepherd and be unfraid when wolves are lurking in the shadows, it's hot and there's nothing to drink, and fear closes in. But His love comes, even when our love is weak. Because He's perfect. And perfect loves "casts out" fear.
Love will make us...unfraid.

How Did I Miss That?

2011-08-19T21:01:00.000-07:00

After 17 years in the same house, I just realized something. I've always started vacuuming my living room by plugging the vacuum into the plug by my dining room table. However, the cord always gets tripped up over the sofa pillows and sometimes knocks things over, as I clean the carpet as far as the cord will go, before I switch to another plug.

Just a couple weeks ago, it dawned on me that there is another plug in a better position to where my cord stretches free, no restrictions. How could I have missed that all these years? Why had I never looked to find another plug that allowed me to clean with more ease? I have no idea.

But it made me think - are there other things in my life where I'm plugged into, that tend to trip me up and cause me pain? Maybe I need to open my eyes and see if there's a place of power that offers me less resistance and more freedom. I bet it's there, if I just turn my head and look. And I hope I have the good sense to notice it quickly, instead of enduring years of frustration for no good reason...

Top Ten Reasons to Give Thanks for the Drought and the Heat

2011-08-18T15:41:00.000-07:00

Gotta give thanks in everything, right? Here are my top ten "thanks" for the heat and the drought:

My steering wheel is so hot it helps my sore hand; therefore, no need for a heating pad!

Any time I miss the cold days of winter and those occasional ice storms, I can just walk through my grass and hear the familiar "crunch" as I step...

I haven't seen many geckos on my front porch - did they dry up or burn up?

The bats fly earlier in Round Rock, so I've seen them several times as I journey that way before sunset. Kinda cool...

I now have a new fridge that keeps ice cream firm and hard - and it's been a staple in our diet this summer.

The A/C still works well enough at local theaters to require a sweater during the movies!

Okra thrives in the heat and we've eaten lots of it, as it arrives in our bushel from farmhousedelivery.com!

I'm having to water my roses and flowers much more, which gives me more time to reflect, observe, and rest.

Don't need flood insurance!

Rain gauge is broken, i've lost my umbrella, and who cares?

I must confess it took a quite a bit of thinking to come up with these ten...

Healthy "Eating"

2011-08-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

There's a commercial running now of two kids peeking around the corner into the kitchen to see what their mom is making for breakfast. They talk about how when their mom is on her "health kick," they never know what she might serve. So the assumption is that the mom is on again/off again with her exercise/eating habits, and the kids have to go along with whatever she serves them...which they hope tastes good (It's a commercial for whole grain waffles.)

I thought of how some parents are the same way spiritually. They're on again/off again and following the latest trends in the church world - let's not celebrate Christmas - it's evil. Or let's nix Halloween, close our doors and ignore our neighbors when they come by. When my kids were little it was Pokeman cards, which my son played with. One time a mom threatened to burn my son's cards if he showed up at her house with them. Really??

Our kids suffer when we follow trends, trim ourselves only to get fat again, and change up what we serve them with every new thought that comes along. They also suffer when we aren't consistent in our spiritual walk, impose crazy rules on then just because of what we've "heard," and we separate so much from the world that we're no good to anyone.

Yo-yo dieting, bursts of exercise once a month, and buying fat-free cookies and eating the whole box only makes us more obese, and more frustrated. I think there's a pretty full table spread of an incredibly balanced diet of the "Bread" which is really good for us, the "Wine" which is healthy, and there's just one real exercise called "loving God and others" that benefits the whole body.

That sort of living makes our kids smile when they turn the corner and see what we're eating, and they are more likely to join us as we dine.

Sounds Delicious...

2011-08-03T16:41:00.000-07:00

While we were shopping, I said to my husband, "What if we could eat all we wanted, of anything we wanted, and never had to think about if it was healthy or not?" Wouldn't that be dreamy? Imagine - ice cream, chocolate, queso, french fries, enchiladas, pizza, all of those delicious things that we feel guilty after eating - all lights green - eat til your stomach hurts.

I'm guessing that before long, the appeal of those food items would lessen. Instead of a "treat," they would be mundane and we would then crave exotic delights from "afar!" It's just our nature. And if we never had to discipline ourselves in what we take into our bodies, discipline in other areas would break down, as well. Every urge would be satisfied, and life would be, well - like it is now - out on the streets where fights, shootings, and rapes take place.

Discipline is something we must have, in our spiritual life too. I'm thinking if I just eat all the "good" verses and promises all the time, pretty soon I'd feel entitled to a blessed life without pain, without effort, because I'd never flip on over to those verses about giving, loving my enemies, and forgiving those who hurt me. And again, the result would be a bunch of immobile "Christians" too fat and lazy to effect the world in which we live.

So...tonight I'm having a treat of popcorn and candy, but tomorrow I'll be back to a salad for lunch. There's a proper balance... and those promises I mentioned above? They come to those who wait on (or serve) the Lord. The reason so many are walking on the hot pavement instead of soaring above the clouds, is they've eaten too much sweet stuff and the blood flow is now stifled...so they just can't get off the ground.

Teach me Lord, to wait...to enjoy your blessings...but to have the discipline to eat "everything" at your table.

Four Course Meal

2011-07-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought about how the best meals that really satisfy, taste oh-so-good, and you dream about, are the ones that are homemade, take a lot of effort and time to make, and have several courses? There is really no comparison of fresh veggies to those from a can, homemade cookies to ones out of a box, or a fresh garden salad to a wilted bag of greens. When someone serves one of these hard-work dinners, we want to linger at the table, savor every bite, and eat to our heart's content!

My next thought in this "series" is that the same goes for spiritual food. We often opt for instant gratification, rather than something fresh from His heart that may require some digging in the garden on our part. We'd rather have a instant helping of his goodness, rather than sit a while and enjoy the aroma of what he's got baking for us...if we just wait. And finally, we are too quick to just take someone else's leftovers, instead of pulling up a chair to see what the next course will be for us.

He's got a huge table spread for us, but sometimes he serves us in courses. The quick meals are just that - quick - and they leave no lasting memories or nutrients. When we are in a hurry, we often skip out on the luscious dessert that comes at the end of the meal. And...we often wind up hungry again too soon...and empty.

Vending Machine God

2011-07-21T14:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, so there are a "few" healthy options in vending machines now. But for the most part, they're junk. So why do we put coins in and push those buttons? We're in a hurry and want something fast, we're in a waiting mode (maybe at the doctor's office or hospital) and we just need something to pass the time, we need convenience because were lazy (?) or...we just want a cheap fix!

My first thought on why Christians "fall away" is that they see God like a vending machine, and end up feeling sickly, dissatisfied, disappointed and walk away with empty pockets after putting in their "coins" and pushing all the "right" buttons. How so? Glad you asked...

Maybe you need an answer in a hurry, you plop on your knees and ask God for a "coke" and he sends a "Sprite" down the chute. Right away, you're disappointed and kick the machine for not giving you what you want. Perhaps you've been waiting for "the" answer for a long time and you're tired, so you grab your Bible and open it up for that one tasty nugget of a verse to get you through the day. Only this is the only time you ever read the Bible, so it's sort of like eating animal crackers once a day - sweet but dry, filling but void of nutrition.

How about the days and weeks that go by and you're so busy with teams, clubs, meetings (all important stuff - right?) so it's just "convenient" to switch on the radio and catch a verse of the day, and hope it sustains you until the once a month Bible Study on your schedule. And finally, there's not much expense of time, money, or effort in vending machine food - so maybe God is like that too, we hope...

The best choice? Skip the vending machine entirely. Keep your coins. Go after the good stuff...sitting in his presence, at his feet, empty pockets, empty hands, seeing what it is He is serving. I promise you - what comes down the chute will be awesome...

Empty Spaces

2011-07-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

There are SO many empty spaces in shopping centers these days. Even restaurants and businesses that were busy, and frequented often, are closing shop. The spaces sit empty for months, and sometimes years, waiting for a new tenant. The old signs are still visible, indicating what "used to be" and when peering in the windows - there's a sad, dirty floor with remnants of leftover racks, counters, etc. And even if the other businesses in the center are thriving, these that have closed their doors make the whole center look depressed.

So...I'm beginning a study of what makes Christians who were once thriving, once full of life, end up empty and lifeless, with only a few remains of what "used to be." I'm convinced it's because of the imbalanced diet they eat. It makes sense. If we eat poorly physically, say once a month, only sweets, etc. we end up anemic, sick, and perhaps dead. There's got to be a comparison here somewhere. Join me in blogs to come as we see why Christians fall away...or close their doors.

More Birds

2011-07-15T09:59:00.000-07:00

We stopped in the Target parking lot to observe a black grackel drinking water from a puddle. Not sure where the water came from (certainly not from the sky!) but I guess it was residual runoff from the sprinkler system. This big black bird stood right in the middle of the water, drinking, while two smaller birds stood on the curb awaiting their turn. Only their turn never came. The mean grackel stood in the water the entire time with his back to these other thirsty birds. The birds flew up and pretended to swoop near, but the big ugly bird kept drinking away, to his little throat's content.

I began describing that bird by its color, then it's size, then it's character and then it's look, based on that nasty character. Some churches are like that bird - standing in our little pool of runoff from blessings from above - totally unaware of the thirsty ones behind us, hoping we'll move aside to give them a drink.

All that bird had to do was turn his eye and see the little birds, as there was plenty of water to share. But it just wasn't his nature.

Is it ours?

The Insulator

2011-07-13T07:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes simple things amaze me. Yesterday it was 100+ degrees again - nothing new there. But I did get an iced water at a drive thru and drank about half of it. When I got out of the car, I left the cup in there. The amazing event took place four hours later, when I got in the car to leave again, and the water was still cold! The very thin insulated cup from Taco Cabana kept the ice from melting and my water cold inside what had to be 115 degrees!

Insulation - protection from something heat, sound, or electricity. But who knew a thin cup could insulate so well? And then I began to give thanks for the one who insulates me - the Great Insulator! Remember that fourth person in the furnace with those three men with weird names? He insulated them from the heat! Remember that voice of truth you know so well, when lies surround your mind? He insulates you from those sounds! And when life hits you hard like a bolt of lightning, and you rise again (out of the ashes, so to speak) - it's He who protects you from death!

Wow, if a thin plastic cup can keep my water cold in extreme heat in Texas, I'm so sorry I have ever doubted that a powerful God can keep me and protect me in the extremes of life in this crazy world.

Breakfast with the Birds

2011-07-09T13:39:00.000-07:00

This morning we had breakfast out at Red River Cafe, and let me just describe the setting for you. Nice covered patio with begonias in planter boxes lining the sides, and lights strung nicely above, with a "cool" morning breeze - lovely - right? One would think so...

I'm all for dog-friendly patios, and I enjoy the chirping of birds and how pretty some of them are. But let me NOW describe our experience. The tables had bird poop on them so we waited for a wipe down, when the waitress told us to cover the sugar packets. Why? Promptly we saw multiple birds land on another table of unsuspecting packets and they were lifted and carried away. Bird after bird landed in the trees that hugged the patio and they glared at us (just like in the movie!) waiting for us to leave. And a customer walked up with a dog who nudged my mother-in-law a little too much, so those people apologized and moved.

When we did get up to leave, no less than a dozen grackles landed on our table, pecked the jelly, scarfed up the toast, and chirped so loudly it sounded like a zoo of monkeys at full voice. I went inside to pay, and every single table was dirty, and at least 30 plates were piled by the cashier, awaiting a wash. And the cashier? She punched in each individual item by looking in the menu, while customers waited on this outdated checkout process.

The "last straw" was when a patron asked for one of the inside tables to be cleaned, and the waitress got what looked like the same cloth (the bird poop rag) and wiped down another table. This was too much to take.

We left and said we'd never go back. Too bad, because the food was excellent...

Sometimes...

2011-07-08T12:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we'll do anything to avoid work. In college, my brother and I tried to blow out candles with our noses, to avoid studying for finals. I see people post pictures on Facebook of things they're doing, to avoid the mundane tasks that await them. Right now,I'm blogging because I have a long list to do, but I am not in the mood. Maybe I'm hoping the list will go away...

Sometimes we'll do anything to get away. It's always a huge undertaking to save the money, get work completed, plan the activities, book the flights, etc. but we will spend months preparing for a week's vacation, because we're tired and we want a break from the 8 to 5 grind. When we come back, we unpack, and think of the next getaway and how we can make it happen soon.

Sometimes we'll do everything to avoid people. We LOVE texting,because it's short, sweet, to the point, and we're done. Voicemail is great, since we can listen to what is said and decide if/when we want to respond. And fences in our backyard? They're a must! Wouldn't want a neighbor to see that we're outside and come over for a conversation! No time for that...

I'm guilty of all of the above. Less work, more play, and no annoyances - ahhh, that's the life...

But...Hard work is good for us, mentally and physically. Vacation is nice, but only because we've been working hard prior to the vacation. And people? I'm praying that I will become less annoyed and more enjoyed...but that just might require that I open the gate and change my "Go Away" mat to "Welcome. Come Sit a While."

It's Not so Scary

2011-07-05T15:49:00.000-07:00

Lesson #4 -

As we were flying to Denver, I looked around the plane and saw all sorts of people. I'm sure some were saying prayers, some were popping a pill, and some were closing their eyes, all to ease their anxiety while in the air. As for myself, I feel completely at ease on an airplane. In fact, I'm more nervous in a car than on a plane. I shared that tidbit with my husband and he asked me, "Why do you feel that way?" I wasn't quite sure, but I thought about it.

Spiritually, I thought about how I'm more at ease with the "seen" than the "unseen," which is quite the opposite of my flying emotions. I like to know what's ahead, I like to be in control, and I want to make sure the ending turns out well. But up in that plane, I didn't even know the pilot, couldn't tell you anything about the direction he was flying us, and who knew if we would land well?

I was quickly reminded that I do know my Pilot in life, I know the direction He's headed, and I've read that it all ends like a dream, like nothing I can even imagine. So why all the angst on my journey here on earth?

I think I need to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride, even if bumps occur, we encounter storms, or even feel as though we're dropping. Maybe the unseen is actually better... Seems like the Pilot mentioned that somewhere in the flying handbook I tend to forget to read from time to time.

The Climb

2011-06-30T12:36:00.000-07:00

Lesson #3 -

Somehow we all complain when life gets hard...spiritually, that is. We want all prayers answered (now) and we want abundant life (plenty of money) and we feel entitled to good health (after all, we deserve "something" for being "good.")

While on vacation, I heard stories of people that actually hike up to the top of Pikes Peak - yeah - on foot! Through the tundra, up where the air is thin, and where the temps are cold....for what? To say that they scaled a mountain, I suppose. There were also stories of car races up that same mountain, around hairpin curves (with no railing), and last year a 16-year old girl entered and placed! Why would people risk their lives for a winning title? At Garden of the Gods near Colorado Springs, we stopped to watch rock climbers carefully grab and step, as they made their way straight up a huge boulder, stand atop and look around, only to repel down back to the ground. Why? All that gear, the danger of falling, and the sheer leg strength involved keeps my feet well planted at sea level.

If so many people have this desire and will power to work hard, sweat, hurt, even suffer injury, and risk everything to achieve such temporary goals, why do we balk at the longsuffering and endurance we are asked to experience in our spiritual walk towards eternal life? Shouldn't we load our backpacks with the truth, faith, and love and head out through some tough terrain? And wouldn't it be logical that there might be a mountain lion hiding behind a bush? Or a turn where we can't see around the corner? Or even an uphill climb that seems impossible? Doesn't that make the challenge much sweeter?

Makes sense to me. So I'm not complaining about the climb...at least today.

Ups and Downs

2011-06-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

The last day of our trip we discovered we had just enough time to catch a ride on the Cog Railway up Pike's Peak. Up we went, atop this high mountain, the temperature changed dramatically to 34 degrees and a wind chill of 20, and the altitude made us all quite dizzy! I had a light jacket, my husband was in shorts and a tshirt! Within 8 hours from our descent back down the mountain, we were back at the airport, in the mile-high city of Denver. A few short hours later (well, after plane delays) we were back in our home state, Texas. It sort of blows your mind to think of the highs and lows, and lateral moves we experience sometimes, all within 24 hours. Plane trips and train trips are amazing...the places we go!

As I thought about our travels, I realized how emotions went with the traveling - excited on the ground to get up high - cold and out of breath up high and ready to go back down - excited to make a lateral move to leave our hot weather - sad to make the lateral move back because we had so much fun!

However....I thought about life in general as I came to a halt and got off that "roller coaster" vacation. When I'm feeling low, I seem to forget there are mountains to scale, and when I'm atop the mountain I tend to soon lose the awe when I stop and consider the wind and the cold. We all forget that life is a journey, and if we're inbetween mountains right now - that's not so bad - the valleys are where the rivers flow and the vegetation is lush. And...it takes work to climb that mountain....

but that's the topic for my next story tomorrow.

Stereotypes

2011-06-28T19:52:00.000-07:00

Lessons learned (and quite enjoyed) while on vacation in Colorado 2011...

Lesson #1 - Stereotypes Unveiled

I've always thought that I was mostly free of prejudice, that I accept all people regardless of race, color, or creed. But this vacation I realized there's still progression to make in my heart, my vision, and my thought processes, because I stereotyped - something I detest!

While on the train up to Pikes Peak, we were assigned seats facing another couple, both wearing motorcycle jackets. Thinking we'd have nothing in common, I must confess I felt a twinge of disappointment, until they spoke. He was soft spoken, she was friendly, and they had grown children (just like me), they were proud of their children (just like me), they loved to travel (just like we do). Why did the jackets steer me wrong? Thanks, Steve & Kathy - you rock!

While on the train in the Royal Gorge, again we were seated by two couples this time - one who had thick country accents and another who looked young, as if they were out on a date. Again, I was a bit disappointed, as I wanted a "romantic" twilight alone with my own sweetheart. But alas, we began a conversation...and my eyes were opened. The one couple who appeared to be our age had only been married one year, coming from divorce and hardship - and her son was about to be deployed to Afghanistan. We then learned the young couple has four children - and this was their first date alone! They too had sad stories of family losses, and hard times. We listened, especially to the younger couple, and we talked for a long time. I now have a new Facebook friend, and I'm looking forward to a lifelong friendship with Serenity (what a cool name!) Why did the tones, and the outward appearances send me inward?

It's weird how we think we've come so far, to only realize we have so far to go. I have a feeling there are multitudes out there that I've passed by, didn't see, or even shunned, individuals who just might be worth getting to know, because they're really cool people.

I'm thankful my eyes were opened, and the veil was lifted...and I hope it's ripped off, never to fall again...

Amazing Love....How Can it Be?

2011-06-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

Just in one day, I'm amazed at the people in my life that bless me so much.

I work with some incredible women who have my back, care about me, and pray for me. And they are just plain fun to be around. How cool is that? My daughter always comes to my rescue when I need to create new things on the computer. She does laugh at me, but it's more like she's amused, and I can tell she doesn't mind helping her mom and teaching her a thing or two. My brother is fun to talk with, because he likes to know what's going on, and I like to ask him if there's "any news" and we are just best friends - always have been - always will be.

My husband calls me during the day just to tell me he loves me and to see what I'm doing. I have friends at my church who hug me, and they actually like me! Even in all my weirdness and all of my opinions, they value me as a person and tell me often. That's like gold to me. My mom, 83 years young, enjoys my calls and loves to hear anything I have to share. I have a sister that prays for me and wants to know what I'm doing for fun. And the list goes on...

All of the above I experienced just today. I've been given much. So I think much is required of me to give. Daily. How can I help but love others....when I have been loved so much?

Triple Digits!

2011-06-16T13:53:00.000-07:00

How does anything grow in this heat...really?

However, I do see cracks growing in my walls from the dry foundation underneath my house. I do see plants growing weak and shriveled as the heat bakes their "brains." The pavement is growing hotter, and I'm pretty sure that egg on the sidewalk idea might really work today. My AC and water bills are growing larger by the day, as we try to stay cool and try to keep our roses and grass alive. So yeah, some things are growing, but not the pretty things I want to see!

Do you see where I'm going with this train of thought? Those visible cracks remind me that I've got to water the perimeter of my house if I want them to close back up. Note taken. The droopy leaves are just begging for water, and more of it, IF I want the plants I love to survive. The hot pavement quickly reminds me to wear shoes when I venture out where I might get burned. And those bills? They've got to be paid, so I must work hard and spend wisely, so I don't get behind.

So yes, even in the heat things grow. And when the heat is intense, the weak, the thirsty, and the dying become more visible...if we're looking. I'm praying for rain, but until it comes, I'm pouring out what I still have on those suffering from the intensity of life...

Help

2011-06-14T13:50:00.000-07:00

It made us both cry, today.

My husband turned onto a street and saw in his mirror that a man in a wheelchair had turned over against the curb, and fell out of his chair onto the hot pavement. This man had no legs, and was trying to sit his chair back up, and then climb into it, only to have the chair fall over again. And NO ONE was helping him.

My husband, who is truly gifted to notice people in need and offer a hand, stopped to help this man, but he was careful to ask before he did. He did not want to offend, if the man could make it on his own. The man had lost his hat, which Jon dusted off and placed back on the man's bald head. Jon held the chair so the man could climb in, and noticed all the scrapes on the man's skin, which happened in the fall. He also placed the socks which had come off back onto the nubs at the base of the man's body.

The man was very grateful, and after noticing the uneven pavement and guiding the man on a new path, Jon drove off in his truck. Tears streamed down his face, as he thought of what "could have" happened to this man if he had been left on the pavement, unable to help himself. Jon also gave thanks for a healthy body, and then relayed the story to me. I too cried and gave thanks.

I hope as you read, you cry and give thanks, and pray for this sweet man who fell over today and needed a helping hand. And then tell someone else so they too can cry, and give thanks. It's great therapy for a hot day in Austin, when we all feel like complaining, but in reality we have been given so much...

Two Little Birds

2011-06-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

While mowing the backyard this morning, there were two birds sitting on my fence. As I mowed one strip of grass, they flew down and grabbed some seed and sat there, watching me out of the corners of their eyes. As the mower turned to go back down, the birds flew away, just in the nick of time, back to the fence. They were brave to swoop down for food, as long as they knew I was moving away from them. But just I as got close, they knew to fly away and wait for another opportunity as I turned away.

I kept thinking, "There's got to be some sort of lesson learned here. What is it?" I'm just thinking about it while I type and this verse comes to mind: "Consider the birds of the air, they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" (Matt. 6:26).

So I'm considering. Even in this drought, as I mow the yard, there are clippings and little bugs stirred up just for the birds' feast. They aren't forgotten by Him. That's love. Even though the birds don't work for their food, or have the sense to store up for winter, YET HE FEEDS THEM. That's grace. And that little reminder that it's MY Father who feeds them, and...I'm of "more value" than they is supposed to make me rest from worry about today, yesterday, or tomorrow. That's good.

I'm going to mull that over today, chew it up, and reflect on the seed my Father left for me today while mowing my backyard...

Scissors that Cut

2011-06-09T13:36:00.000-07:00

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them. -- Sydney Smith

Isn't that a cool saying? I've been married a long time, and I'm still amazed and saddened at the news of yet another couple that I thought were "fine" having trouble and parting ways. It's obvious that couples, no matter how compatible, still have "issues" and problems to be resolved. But in light of the above saying, I have to wonder if:

The screw in the middle of the scissors has come loose, and the two sides of the scissors have now become cutting tools...on each other.

And just how does that happen? There are a few common threads I've notice that have come unraveled in the lives of my own friends:

Disappointment set in, because of a hurt, and church/worship was no longer a priority.
One spouse began to believe and thrive on the "truth" of the workplace environment, i.e. "it's all about me" and forgot THE truth of "it's all about Him"
Continual bashing and negativity finally became reality, as the one being bashed actually became the adjectives used to describe him/her
Neither side was willing to keep their vows and "fight" for their union.
I Corinthians 13 was forgotten and not practiced.

Let's all pray for tightening of the screws, and sharpening of the blades, so that the last part of that saying is always true - anything that dares to come between the two handles is cut in to pieces and discarded in the trash...for good.

The Word Is

2011-06-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

Since I've been editing a couple of magazines for a while now, I've learned a lot. One huge thing is that once something is printed and distributed, it's out there, and there's no taking it back. You can write a retraction and correct what you misspelled, miswrote, or just plain "missed," but the printed word has already been written. And most likely, the readers will remember the mistake, not the correction! And as the editor, somehow I become responsible for everything! It's a daunting task, and I love it, but it really made me think today...

That must be why God had his listeners write down what he wanted to say, and he wanted it written in detail, and it had to be perfect. It had to be so true and poignant that he would never ever write a retraction or apologize for what he wrote. This Word has lasted through all of time, and I am still reading stories that come alive, ones I've read many times before, because the Writer/Editor/Graphic Artist/Distributor made sure that what he was sending out would be well-received throughout generations of readers, young and old. He got it ALL right, and he wrote with such descriptive language, there is no mistaking the beauty of the message.

WOW. At least today, I'm pondering his publication and pausing to peruse it with a purpose. The Holy Bible...by God. I'm so thankful he sent me a copy.

Emerging Adults

2011-06-02T13:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes teenagers get a bad rap, and I don't understand why. They're just curious, they're hormonal, they're full of energy, they're fickle at times, and they're actually quite fun - what's NOT to like?

There's a "movement" to try and "reach" these kids before they go off the "deep end" only to drown...and never surface again. I want to be part of that movement. I want to listen to them when they're curious and answer their questions without judgment. And I remember the hormonal thing, so I'll pray for self-control and remind them of the great things that come to those who wait. The energy boosts my own slowing metabolism and makes me want to get up and move. That's got to be a good thing! And when they're fickle, I'll smile, knowing that later they'll come around.

I know this next generation can be full of disrespect, foul-mouthed, and simply lazy at times. But actually, they haven't had good role models, and many parents have been absent or self-absorbed. They only mimic what they see.

So...if I can be one "mom" to a kid that's lonely, offer a kind word or compliment to a young girl without a father, bless a young man with a "high five" at a job well done, or just offer a shoulder for tears, so be it.

I won't sit by and watch them drown...I will stand up and say "Here's a hand...grab hold!"

How Fun

2011-05-31T07:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we visited the Cameron Park Zoo in Waco. My favorite animals are always the bears, and this particular day was no exception. As we spotted a large black bear, he sauntered over to a huge log and picked it up and began to play with it. Another bear, a few feet away, sat there and just watched, as if to say "You goof, you're making a fool out of yourself." However, people lined up to take pictures (as did we) of this bear enjoying a log.

He turned the log sideways and it looked as if he was playing a guitar, he sat the log up on end and rested his chin on it, and genuinely had a good time, while we humans watched and enjoyed this playful guy. No one bothered looking at the other bear, still sitting in the shade, occasionally blowing air at some vultures walking nearby. And he wasn't in any of our pictures...

I sort of think our Father takes pleasure in watching us enjoy his creation. He gets a kick out of seeing us pick up what we've been given, toss it around, and have fun. There are too many people like the "other" bear who sit in judgment, immobile, just blowing hot air, instead of enjoying their gifts. If more of those "out there" saw more of us "in here" enjoying the life we've been given, they just might want to get up and join in and see what makes us so joyful...

Do You Remember?

2011-05-26T20:12:00.000-07:00

I thought today about what life would be like without memories. It would be so nice to forgive and forget any wrongdoing. When our kids grow up and leave, it wouldn't be so hard, because we wouldn't remember what it was like having them at home. We could read the same book over and over again, and it would be new and fresh reading each time! And regrets? There wouldn't be any, because we wouldn't remember the reason for them.

However, when kindness is shown to us, we wouldn't remember to give thanks to the person and they would miss a blessing. And we would keep making the same mistakes over again, wondering where in the world we got that scar from touching the fire, because we'd never learn. And learning would be non-existent, because learning requires memorization and retention of things that are taught. Without memories, the song in our heart would be silent, for there would be no tunes remembered.

It seems like lots of people today have lost their memory of what needs to be retained, and they retain what needs to be lost. Maybe that's why so many are disappointed, depressed, and in despair. I'm going to remember the goodness of God in my life, tell it to my children, so they too can remember to tell it to the next generation...

Thoughts for Thinking

2011-05-25T13:48:00.000-07:00

So...I'm reading that it's all about Him making me holy. That's the purpose behind the love he shows, and the discipline he brings, to make me holy...so I can fellowship with Him. So when I pray for blessings, I have to stop and think - Do I want the blessings and the "good life" more than I want to be holy? Holiness is one of those words that just sounds "holy," doesn't it? It sound unattainable, and sort of scary.

Then I read that He's the one that does it - whew! That takes the pressure off of me in trying to be good enough or pleasing enough to warrant His good favor on my life. Which brings me to my next thought - is "favor" what I want more than I desire to be holy? Is "favor" really shown by Him dumping all the blessings I can stand on me on one day? Blessings like wealth, good health, beauty, and happiness? I think NOT.

So if "favor" can be hard times that lead me on a path of holiness, and "holiness" is something I don't have to achive myself - it's all His work - and "blessings" are His hand on my life, shaping me into His image...then why the heck am i so weary and tired from trying to figure it all out and make "it" happen.

I'm still thinking about what I'm reading...but I feel a bit relieved at what I've read so far...

Up There

2011-05-23T11:52:00.000-07:00

I was lying on my back doing some floor exercises for my back, looking at the ceiling. Wow, it was dirty, and I even saw cobwebs in the corners. Our ceilings are high, so I rarely clean up there, as it requires a ladder. What a dull view, just a blank ceiling, dingy in color, and unattended and really unremarkable or noticeable, until I was lying on my back.

It made me think about HIS view. He looks down from "up there" and I'm sure he sees a whole other view of our lives that what we see as we walk around, drive about town, and go about our business. I guess that's why he says we're supposed to trust Him and not lean to our own understanding of things. It makes sense - If he sees a different picture, and he's working on areas we rarely see or are even aware of, then we have to trust Him that he knows what he's doing when he starts cleaning away the cobwebs.

I didn't enjoy lying on my back and noticing the flaws in my pretty room. And I wouldn't have been there noticing, had it not been for a injury that put me on by back, exercising. But it was good to see it. It gave me a different perspective and allowed me to stop and think.

I think it's good to lie down, to look up, and to realize...

One Caught Trespassing...

2011-05-20T06:49:00.000-07:00

We have a "no soliciting" sign on our porch, which means I don't want people ringing my bell trying to sell me things. So last night the doorbell rings, and my husband answers - to listen to a man trying to sell us something. Right away, I'm thinking this man cannot be trusted because he "trespassed!" He started his conversation noting our 53 Hudson in the driveway, asking questions as if he was interested in it. Was he? Or was this his patronizing intro?

I stood around the corner listening to the conversation, and thankfully he went away...but stated he would be back tonight! If I am the one answering the door tonight, I want to point to our sign and ask him if he can read. And I want to tell him "NO" to his sales pitch, whatever it might be, because I don't want to listen. For me, the best form of advertising is in the mail - I actually look at the junk - then most of it goes in the trash.

So....my sweet husband says this man is out earning his living...knocking on doors is what he does. I get that. I think. But not answering doors and putting up signs is what I do. (The above is NOT my sign, but I like it...)

So That's Why

2011-05-18T05:58:00.000-07:00

We mow the yard, water it, tend our flowers, and in a matter of a couple of days, it looks unkempt again, so we repeat the process....so that it looks good if someone visits. Last night I took the laundry basket, folded each towel and put it away, but I thought "Why am I doing this? We will just use them all in a couple of days...why bother putting them up?" I ironed a shirt last night for my son, and it was a wrinkled mess. However, knowing he wanted to look nice and pressed for his evening out, I ironed the shirt, so he would look good.

So...I began to wonder about HIM and how his blood cleans me each day from the messes I get myself into, with bad thoughts, envy or greed, anger or disgust, and judgments and criticism - you know - those pesky wrinkles, folds, and blooms-gone-bad that surface in our hearts. And I thought, "Why does he do it? Why does he keep making us new every morning? We're just going to get messed up again."

And then I remembered who's coming to visit. It's all in the presentation...

2011-05-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

If I haven't forgotten, have I really forgiven?
Am I doing enough to make a difference?
If I feel guilty, am I most certainly doing something wrong?
Is organic food really more healthy?
Why doesn't it rain only on the unjust?
Why are there so few listeners?
Why did my tomato plants die?
Is it really necessary to argue your point?
Does time really "fly?"
What will I look and feel like at 80?
Why do I want to understand everything?
Will I ever find time to dust my miniblinds?
Why am I sitting here blogging, when I have work to do?
Do you see the same colors I see?
Can I pray harder?
How does the heart keep beating?
Can the next trend be men carrying purses?
Why don't my toes bend?
Why do puppies grow up?
When's the next storm?

It Just Makes Sense

2011-05-10T20:17:00.000-07:00

So we ate at TGIF on Sunday night and my husband noticed a waiter who looked sad and depressed. That night, my husband dreamed about the guy and woke up and prayed for him. That's cool.

My daughter noticed on Sunday (Mother's Day) that a mom who recently lost her husband had no child at church to bring her a rose, so my daughter did it.

My son works with kids with special needs and has observed that one of the kids has a boot that doesn't fit his foot properly, and my son is trying to think of a way to make it fit better.

My son-in-law recently became aware of my 85 year old dad's yard and the need for it to be mowed. After working all day, my son-in-law drove across town and made sure that lawn was cut.

And me? I saw my entire family just use one of their senses - sight - to respond to what they saw and either pray, give, or brainstorm, and bless someone in need.

Makes me want to open my eyes a bit wider, look up from my own full plate of food, and take note of my neighbor and the place where he lives. Makes me wonder about all the other senses and what might happen if they are all awakened to the sights, smells, sounds, etc. around me.

The world just might see Jesus.

The Crack

2011-05-06T14:45:00.000-07:00

The crack is visible again. It's right at the top of wall in our living room, and it widens every time the weather is dry. We just realized recently that we water every side of our house that is flanked by grass, but one side - just outside the fireplace wall - gets no watering at all. It's that side of the house that breaks away and causes this crack in the wall. When we get rain, the crack closes up, not visible at all.

We're in a severe drought here in Texas, and now that we know about our watering effects, we've started watering that side of the house up against the foundation. So time will tell if our assessment is correct, and the crack closes up.

I've been reading 66 Love Letters, a book by Larry Crabb, and visible cracks have shown up in my concept of who God is and my perceived "entitlements" in this life. No wonder I am continually disappointed in others, frustrated with the thoughts in my mind, and despair quickly over the way things are in this world! There a "side" of me that has gone dry, that just sits - waiting and hoping for a downpour - when I need to be watering it with the truth!!!

So...today, in light of what I've read in this book (I encourage you to read the book and let me know what you think) to refocus my energy on loving God well, rather than sitting around wondering why he's not loving me by making everything go my way. One quote (out of many) that I loved in the book is a question the author heard God ask him,

"Do you want Me to penetrate your soul with life-changing power, or would you prefer that I satisfy your curiosity with academic knowledge?"

I'm quite sure the latter is what leaves one side of me dry, and the first part is what waters my soul and closes all the cracks. I'm still chewing on the rest of what I've read, and it's making me want to read the Bible with this new vision...in light of the true love story that it is.

Want a Taste?

2011-05-03T18:23:00.000-07:00

We visited the World of Coca Cola in Atlanta, GA this past weekend and something I read stuck with me. When coke got started, the guy who came up with the recipe decided to hand out sample coupons everywhere, and this one little gimmick make coke explode! The world knew about it because they had tasted it, and they liked it! And of course, the rest is history - "It's the real thing."

So I thought...what kind of "sample" are we offering our neighbors, strangers on the street, those with whom we rub shoulders, and even those we don't like? Do they like our sample of Christianity enough to want more? Or is it something they spit out and never want to taste again? I know many who've had that experience. Or...are we even offering a sampling at all? Maybe the cup we offer is dry. Lots to think about.

At the end of the tour, there were stations to sample 65 different drinks that Coca-Cola manufactures, and we were allowed to taste as we pleased. My husband tasted 61! And boy was he sick. So overkill is just as bad as offering nothing at all. And some have been sickened by "too much" in the way of rules, judgment, and sappy sweetness.

So, what did I learn? I want to make the sample I offer so tasty, the perfect combination of ingredients of love and compassion, and I want to have it available for anyone and everyone that I encounter. And most of all...I hope they come back for more until they realize that HE too is the "real thing" - and there is no other.

The Royal Wedding

2011-04-28T05:48:00.000-07:00

So much speculation, so many people camped out and waiting, ladies crying at the thought of "the dress," and so much money and fanfare and "royalty" I'm actually appalled by the herds of people lined up to see a glimpse of the royal couple. What makes them royal? It's because of their parents...from where they were born. Oh! Is that all?

I've got royal blood. Yes, it's true. I'm the King's daughter, and so therefore my blood runs blue. And I've actually got guards around me day and night, escorts to and from the places I go, and the Prince that rides by my side 24/7. And...guess what else? There's a huge wedding planned,with myself and so many others as the bride! Chew on that for a while. It's going to be a feast like none other, with royal fanfare, incredible never-before-heard music, and the streets are going to be pure gold. And there's really no guessing about the wedding dress I'm going to wear. It's not hidden in a bag waiting for photographers to snap a shot of it from all angles. It's simply pure white...in fact, I'm wearing it now! It was given to me when HE proposed.

And the vows? Well, of course the word "obey" is in them - why wouldn't I want to obey my Prince who actually gave his life for me? He loves me! And I'm not afraid at all of snipers, terrorists, or other such evil - because when my wedding day comes those types will be no more. It will be a clear path to the throne. And the best part - everyone is invited - not just to witness this event - but to be the bride as well! Isn't that awesome?

I think it is. The invitation won't come the mail, because it's for "all who believe" - in this super sweet, pure, delightful , royal "fairy tale" that ends in eternal bliss...for real.

Guilty Pleasure

2011-04-24T05:30:00.000-07:00

My "guilty pleasure" is a Happy Meal from McDonalds. Yes, I know a McDonald hamburger patty lasts a year without decaying, and I know it's fast food, and I know it's not healthy - BUT I eat healthy a lot - and once in a while I allow myself the pleasure of savoring every bite of that kids meal that others hate. And...why should "pleasure" and "guilt" be in the same vicinity of each other? I guess it's because of Sheryl Crow's song "If makes you happy, then why the hell you so sad?" But I'm not referring to happiness that's here today, and gone tomorrow, when the good feeling's gone...

So...that brings me to Easter. What a segway, right? Today I realize that I have been given the "guilty pleasure" of knowing HIM. I'm guilty of wrong thinking, wrongdoing, and wrong motives, etc. and He has the pleasure of giving me freedom from that guilt. WOW. When I am fearful because of death, I can take pleasure in knowing he conquered it. And when I'm sick, I can take pleasure in my Healer. And when I do one of those "wrongs" again, I can take pleasure in knowing He forgives me.

Have you experienced the "guilty pleasure" of knowing Christ? Not religion. HIM. When you drive-thru at Chick Fil A, the person at the windows says "My pleasure" after serving you your food. It's that simple. Drive up to the window, confess your need of a Savior, your hunger and thirst for something that satisfies, and when he hands you freedom, say "Thanks." And you will most definitely hear him say, "My pleasure."
HAPPY EASTER.

Summer checklist

2011-04-21T10:59:00.000-07:00

My warnings to those of you who "admire" rodents as much as I do...

Don't leave your windows down or your skylight open in your car. A friend of mine got in her car one morning, started the motor, and as she took off - a possum jumped up from the backseat - out the open window. She's been traumatized ever since...

Don't put your purses on the ground when you're sitting outside...anywhere! Recently while shopping at a nice center, just outside a chain store (I will leave it nameless), there were three tiny mice (1 1/2 inches long) playing on the ground just below a bench...where sitting ladies sit their purses...yikes! Thankfully, none got in my bag!

Don't allow your neighborhood creeks near your house to get overgrown...call your homeowners association! Within two weeks last year, we had two large snakes in our yard, and I do mean large! And no, we didn't "catch and release," - their heads were chopped off! With the present drought, these slithering monsters are looking for water...(so don't leave your outside faucet dripping either...)

Don't leave those fire ant mounds unattended. A lady once had a fire ant bed under her house, piled high inside the walls of her home. I'm surprised they didn't carry the house off on their backs...

And whatever you do...IF you post your disgust for these pests on FB...watch out - your animal lover friends will comment...and it could get ugly...:) While driving through a campsite, we were actually halted by a waving hand, so that this person could "assist" a scorpion across the road. True story...

Hungry...or Full?

2011-04-16T19:54:00.000-07:00

Today we drove around in a crowded parking lot at a new restaurant, hoping for a place up front. We saw a couple come out to get in the car and we waited...and waited...as they took their time getting in, backing up, and pulling away. My husband noted, "They're not in a hurry. They've eaten and are satisfied."

His comment made me think. When people are hungry, they are anxious to get a place, get in, and get fed. That's all they can think about. And yet those who are full are unaware of the hungry people waiting and could probably care less. The full are nonchalant and completely oblivious to the hungry. They've forgotten the fact that just a couple hours before, they themselves were hungry and wanted to be fed.

Note taken by self - When I'm doing well, "fat and sassy," so to speak - I hope I remember what it was like when I was in need of a place to pull aside and get fed. And I hope I look up and see the hungry, and move out of the way to make room. In fact, I hope I readily give up my place and invite them to dine on the good food I've just eaten.

Disappointed??

2011-04-11T02:52:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we saw "Soul Surfer" - movie based on a true story of the young girl who had her arm bitten off by a shark while surfing. She was a competitve surfer, winning all sorts of awards, and yet she suffered this HUGE setback. Disappointment, in a big way. The part that made tears erupt from my eyes was where her mom got the call and sat by her bedside, unable to give her daughter back her arm or ease the pain, or when her youth leader (played by Carrie Underwood) was unable to explain "why" this happened to her, or when her best friend avoided her because she herself felt "guilty" that she still had two arms.

I won't spoil the movie for you, but the story is inspiring and gut-wrenching, at the same time. I don't think I could have done what this girl did. But then again, that's not my experience. It's probably not yours. Or maybe it is. One arm, to do what two arms did before. Imbalanced, to balance again so as not to fall. Defeated, to rise in victory somehow - there must be a way.

Instead of wondering "why," or trying to figure out what we've done to deserve our particular hardship, try reading in Psalm 107 where even hardships were included in the "great love of the Lord," and that he who is wise will consider this great truth. It's in the desert that He can provide a pool of water, and it's in the desert where we will give thanks and enjoy that water all the more, because we are thirsty. It's in the silence, where we will listen to that voice when it speaks, because we are eager to hear. And it's in the depths of despair, where we will rise when He reaches out his hand, and we will grab hold, very aware that we are being Held by one who never lets go.

Go see the movie.

Turnips? Eww....

2011-03-31T05:32:00.000-07:00

I bet every mom, at one time or another, "slips" something in their kids food to get them to eat the "good" stuff. There's even a recipe book by Jerry Seinfeld's wife that includes zucchini brownies! Supposedly the kids can't tell there are vegetables in the dessert. I myself made mashed potatoes with half turnips/half potatoes and no one knew - they were delicious! When making my son's lunch, I included a sandwich I thought he'd like but I wasn't sure. However, I knew when he opened his lunch, if there was nothing else to eat, he'd try it. And he liked it!

So...this made me think. If I, being the human mom that I am, know how to get my kids to eat good stuff, even when they turn up their nose at the thought of it...how much more He, being the heavenly father that he is, knows how to feed me as well. I've turned up my nose at the thought of many things I just knew I wouldn't want in my life, places I'd never go, or things I'd never do, and somehow, in his wise, subtle way, he "slips" them in so I can get the "good" stuff that comes with his surprises.

He knows the nutrients I need for a balanced life, a healthy disposition, and endurance for the race. And He knows I'd just eat the fun stuff, the sweet stuff, and completely miss out - if left to my own desires.

After all, as I've grown, I've learned to actually prefer green vegetables, fruit, and lots of healthy choices, and I've acquired a taste for them - and they're really good!

Who knew? So there's hope for the next generation, if we keep serving it up - when they have no idea...

The Hammer

2011-03-25T15:01:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about forgiveness lately. As I sat and visited with a 90-year old lady at the breakfast table while traveling, she shared how she had lost a child who was hit as she stepped up on a curb, while crossing the street with her dad. This incident happened many, many years ago. Lucille had a peaceful demeanor, and even as she told the story and stated, "There's nothing worse than losing a child," there was no anger, bittnerness, or blame in the tone of her voice, nor on her face.

Lucille kept sharing her story, and stated further, "I knew I had forgiven the driver of that truck when I prayed for him to no longer have the memory of the accident." Wow.

Most of us hold on to hurts much smaller than the death of our children, hoping that somehow the one who hurt us will suffer as we have suffered, or worse. Sometimes a friend doesn't keep a promise, so we're quick to hold a grudge for years. Other times a mean word is spoken, or a wrong is done, and we try to forgive, but secretly we hope they "burn" for the "hell" they've inflicted upon us.

Lucille is right. I can't think of anything worse than to lose a child, either to an accident, sickness, or God forbid - our own neglect. But Lucille got it right again when she chose to forgive. I recently read that we have to pick up the "hammer of forgiveness" and nail that hurt to the cross, in order to forgive. It's our choice.

I can either hold on to the hatred, the hurt, and the hell. Or I can pray for the person who hurt me - to be blessed.

What was really scary was the thought, "Do I really want to forgive them?" I'm still thinking on that one...because I'm sure that forgiveness begins with the answer to that question.

It Doesn't Pay

2011-03-24T18:58:00.000-07:00

Tonight we played tennis. The weather was perfect, and the breeze was so much nicer than air-conditioning. This morning we went for a walk and saw the sun rise. It was really huge and oh, so orange. Can't see that on the treadmill in a highrise. Sometimes I do opt for exercise to a DVD, when it's too dark or weather is inclement, and I suppose some could then argue -why do we need TV to exercise? I would agree.

I suppose knowing we've forked out money is our motivation to actually show up and use the facility. I guess having strangers run alongside and sweat with us makes us feel better somehow, and the clothes give an appearance that we're serious in our mission to stay fit.

I still think the breezes (even when they get hot), the sunrise (or the sunset), tshirts and baggy shorts (especially ones that don't match), and just one friend to chat with (or even alone at times), make for a more pleasurable experience when working out.
And...I'd rather spend my money on something else...like manicures and pedicures...NOT. But that's a topic for another blog...

It Doesn't Pay

2011-03-24T18:52:00.000-07:00

Why do we pay for gym memberships? Why do we have to use machines to run, do sit-ups, stretch, and pull? Why, oh why, do we purchase special clothes, and little suits, to look cute while we're doing all of this?

Tonight we played tennis. The weather was perfect, and the breeze was so much nicer than air-conditioning. This morning we went for a walk and saw the sun rise. It was really huge and oh, so orange. Can't see that on the treadmill in a highrise. Sometimes I do opt for exercise to a DVD, when it's too dark or weather is inclement, and I suppose some could then argue -why do we need TV to exercise? I would agree.

I suppose knowing we've forked out money is our motivation to actually show up and use the facility. I guess having strangers run alongside and sweat with us makes us feel better somehow, and the clothes give an appearance that we're serious in our mission to stay fit.

I still think the breezes (even when they get hot), the sunrise (or the sunset), tshirts and baggy shorts (especially ones that don't match), and just one friend to chat with (or even alone at times), make for a more pleasurable experience when working out.

And...I'd rather spend my money on something else...like manicures and pedicures...NOT. But that's a topic for another blog...

The Ritz

2011-03-22T20:23:00.000-07:00

We just visited a small theater in the historic downtown of Crockett, Texas which was run by a 90-year old man, who sold us the tickets to our movie. I'm guessing he's been working there a long time. As we exited the theater, he opened the door and smiled at each one of us as we were leaving, and stated, "Thank you for coming. Come back again!"

I stood on the corner and watched him, for a long time. He made me smile, and he made those who had been to the movie smile as well, even if they didn't enjoy the ending of their show. His ending and good-bye was better than the one in the movie. I observed a man who stayed up late, took care of business, took his job (that others may view as mundane) seriously, and enjoyed what he was doing.

We traveled a lot of places, saw a lot of cool things and experienced great food and fun on our trip, but when I think of my favorite "memory" from the trip - this man stands out above the rest.

Amazing what a smile from an elderly gentleman can do to a mom who's missing her grown kids, feeling a few aches from getting "older," and wondering what the future holds. It sort of jolted me into giving thanks for my wonderful life and boosted my faith in the human spirit that amazingly endures and thrives, given a positive outlook on life and a purpose to bring joy to others.

What If...

2011-03-16T08:08:00.001-07:00

No doubt many are wondering, "Why would a loving God let so many perish in a tsunami or other disaster?" This event that is still unfolding will likely be another brick in the wall between some individuals and their faith in God, or another dark cloud of fear that blocks the "son" on any given day.

But what if...right before the floods swept away the lives of the thousands, each one of those people looked up and cried, "God, save me!" Isn't that all it takes? The thief hanging by Jesus,only moments before his death, believed. What if...the thousands who died were blinded by lies, without hope, and destined for a hopeless existence, and God in his "mercy" showed them his power, and they saw it and believed? What if every last one of those who died now live with Him because they were "struck" by the power of His creation, both physically and spiritually? What if...there is now a paved road for the love of Jesus to enter a nation where this love before was unable to be shared?

Does God cause disasters like these? I don't know. But I know that the whole earth groans in response to its creator, and sometimes we experience the groans, the spews, the cracks, and the movement of the ground beneath us. That's why I've heard that there is a rock, a shelter, a refuge, that is "higher than I," and that's why I stay right there...covered by his hand. And even if that hand chooses to sweep me away, I know my destination...because I believe.

They've Grown!

2011-03-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love planting flowers and getting my garden ready for spring, which is what I did this last weekend. Once all of the flowers are set in pots, and in the ground, I find myself peeking out the window every morning, or going outside just to stare at the beauty of the color, and the growth. I am always amazed at how quicky the plants thicken and grow.

As I was looking out the window, I felt I heard HIM tell me how delighted he is to look at me each day, as well. He loves seeing the color and beauty and the way I'm reaching toward the SON, as he waters, and tends to my every need. It's really cool how the flowers just have to sit there where they are planted, and it's up to the gardener to keep pests away, to water and feed, and to even transplant if necessary, so that optimal growth takes place. Even a pinch or two of an old bloom is done with the utmost thought in mind - to beautify his creation - a reflection of his love.

Wow, that made me feel so good to know that a watchful eye and a tender hand are caring for me, as I let my roots go deep, and I bend in the cool breezes he blows my way. Now I'm hoping for rain to come and soak up the ground around what I've planted. I only hope I learn to welcome the other kind of rain from time to time, knowing it's all part of the season - spring - the season of new growth.

2011-03-07T04:37:00.000-08:00

I recently watched an episode of American Pickers with my son, and the show involved a search for a millstone (yep, those huge round stones from the old mills!) for the yard of William Shatner (yep again, the Star Trek guy). I was intrigued why anyone would desire a huge piece of stone for their yard, but then again, I guess it was sort of a cool piece of decor. Until...I watched and heard the cost of that millstone, and the weight! It weighed about 2 tons, and cost thousands. And the pickers actually found a man who collects millstones and purchased one for the Shatner home. It was a huge ordeal, but they got it moved and dropped into the ground for all to see.

I hardly ever hear the word "millstone," but that show reminded me of a verse in the Bible from Matthew 18:

If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Wow, those are pretty powerful words!

Can you imagine, having a 2-ton piece of concrete tied to your neck, while in the water? All because you wounded the spirit of a child? It made me think.

What a contrast. One man, who has fame and fortune, is seeking a millstone to adorn his yard. And one verse, from a man who also has fame and fortune, says a millstone is a weight to be avoided at all cost - by treating children with care and love. It's a weight we can't afford to carry; in fact, it will carry us...to the depths of the sea.

I Agree, Mom

2011-03-02T05:51:00.000-08:00

People ask for prayer for sickness all the time. From simple illnesses such as a common cold, all the way up to the big time diseases like cancer, we pray and hope for all to be healed. Of course, the question always arises - Why are some healed, and some are not? But in reality, all are healed - just not always here, or always now. But that's not the subject of this blog...

Alzheimers is a disease that affects mostly the elderly. My mom mentioned to me how they have so many friends with it. And she queried, "Have you ever heard of anyone being healed from Alzheimers?" I thought and realized that I had not heard of it. Usually, we accept it because the sick person is old, and we just assume they're at the end of their journey here. But then she further stated, "I'm going to pray for healing of Alzheimers in my friends' minds." And what could I do but agree with her? Why not? Why does a "sound mind" have to only be for those of us who are young-er?

So...for my dear friend whose husband is getting up in the night, moving furniture, stating "someone is coming" and hallucinating, I am praying for a sound mind for this man. I'm praying for peace to the torment, and hope to his wife. For my mother-in-law, I pray for the ability to remember, and for the frustration in her eyes to turn into insight and recollection. I am praying for a sweet lady I know who knows no one, and can barely function because she remembers nothing, to be given rest and remembrance of all things good.

Why not believe for that which is yet to be seen?

The Penny

2011-02-25T08:26:00.000-08:00

I passed by a penny the other day. It was right there in the parking lot, I looked at it and thought "A penny is worth nothing, and it just adds weight to my purse." So I left it.

There was a time when I would have stopped and picked up the penny, either for good luck, or because - after all - it is money. And how can I pass up money? But now, pennies annoy me. I wish pennies would go away. It takes so many pennies to make a dollar, and hardly anything is available for one dollar!

However, there are other "pennies" I pick up every day, worthless pieces of info, falsehoods about who I am, and lies about what others think of me. I know they amount to nothing, except dead weight, and I pick them up anyway. Pretty soon I've got a hundred of these small pieces that add pounds and slow my step.

So...maybe you pick up pennies and save them for a rainy day. Maybe you enjoy the thought of having good luck when you discover a penny surprise. Maybe I'm just cynical. But if you do view them as a great find, then come walk with me and follow behind...

It's Gone

2011-02-25T08:15:00.001-08:00

Smoke free environment. Isn't that always a nice sign to see? Anyone who doesn't smoke doesn't want to sit in a room where they are forced to inhale, and then smell of smoke once they leave.

Years ago, we had three fires in our "dream house," none of which were horrific, but all causing smoke damage, with the lingering scent of smoke staying around for months. I hated it. It ruined the "new scent" of our newly built home, and it was a constant reminder of the fires that had caused damage.

There are fires we all encounter, trials of fire, where something really good (gold) comes as a result, and we're better people for having gone through a hard time. There are also fires brought on by unfortunate circumstances of loss, divorce, abuse, etc. Coming through the fire unscathed is awesome, but not always the case. The smell of "smoke" still lingers, offering to remind us of the pain; or even sometimes, the smoke has settled on top of us in the form of bitterness, anger, or confusion over why the fire occurred at all.

I thought about all of this, and prayed. I realized the only thing that really got rid of the smoke in our house was days and months of new fragrances seeping into all of the closets, and into every corner where the smoke had made its home. It took time, and it took replacing fear (of another fire) with faith (in His goodness and mercy), it took others telling me the truth about my life in Him, and it took lots of music filling my heart, instead of sadness and hurt.

The smoke did leave our physical home, but the smoke of hurt went with me for years. However, I have a home now that's fragrant, and the smoke is gone. It didn't happen overnight, but it had to happen in order for that scent to cease to be repulsive to myself, and to others.

Hard Stuff

2011-02-23T15:51:00.000-08:00

Friendships are hard. When you're little, you fight over toys, screaming "Mine!" Finally, you learn it's okay to share. As a teenager, you feel jealous of what they have vs what you have, and finally you realize you're okay like you are, and quite proud of it (at least at some point in your life...hopefully).

As adults, there's the pressure of keeping up with those around you, in education, acquiring things, and status. Then kids come along, and you assume if the parents are your friends, your kids will want to be best friends as well. This is NOT the case. And...friends move away, they change churches, they have more children...when you've decided two's enough, or they get a divorce. OUCH.

Friendships are hard. But are they worth making? Certainly. Friends teach us things about ourselves, our attitudes, our selfishness, our pride, and the limits of our tolerance. I've heard that some friends are just friends "for a season," and I don't like that phrase, or evaluation.

Every friend I've ever had has impacted my life in some way, some negatively, and some positively. But I think it takes both to make me become a better friend to the new ones I meet now. I can only hope I'm learning that to have friend I must be friendly, and to be friendly is risky, and to take risks is exhilirating...and costly at times. But worth it. (By the way, I don't care for cats...but then again we all need a friend.)

Could I?

2011-02-18T15:31:00.000-08:00

Would you ever move into a neighborhood "beneath" your social status and hang out with your new "friends" in their garage, instead of in your newly decorated living room? Would you invite a new co-worker over to your house for dinner, if you found out she had a child in jail? What about inviting a couple to dinner with whom you have nothing in common, except the fact that you're both human?

I think about these questions sometimes, because I consider myself to not be prejudiced against those of a different color skin than mine. After all, my kids went to public school and had friends of all ethnicities, and I've been proud that they didn't notice their differences,or let them dictate their friendships.

However, I realize that I'm not really willing to associate with people that are "too" different from me,because my "regular" friends are just too much fun and easy to hang out with.

Our church is growing...and changing. We are becoming multi-generational, and multi-cultural, and some new folks are showing up that need to be loved. They need more than a handshake and a smile, more than a "welcome" and a hug. They need to be included in my life, or should I say - I need to observe and enter their life...where they live.

Can I do it? Why is it hard? It just has to be pride, and forgetting that we're all the same in His eyes. I guess I just need some corrective lens, or better yet "eye" surgery so I can see clearly the things that are now blurred. And then maybe I won't be afraid to take that first step...

The Puzzle

2011-02-12T06:15:00.000-08:00

We're working a jigsaw puzzle. In fact, we've worked two because we've been indoors at night due to our frigid Texas weather! As we've worked, I've observed how each one of us views the pieces and puts them in place.

My husband holds several pieces in his hands, or works off to the side, which just drives me nuts because he often has the one piece I'm looking for. Yes, I look for one piece at a time, by shape or color, to place in the puzzle. My son holds the completed picture of the puzzle (on the box) and works from there, matching and placing sections where they go. We all agree that to start the puzzle, we begin with the frame, but how we complete the inside is completely individualized.

Great conversation has occurred, we have all hummed a tune or two, and we've even cracked a few jokes while placing our pieces. We all look forward to working on it together, not wanting any one person to complete the puzzle alone without the rest of us. And all three of us fight over the last piece as it is put in place to complete the picture.

What a great way to tackle the pieces of life, don't you think? Working together, allowing each one to put their pieces in order as only they can do, and conversing and laughing together, never alone, as we complete the overall picture of the One who designed it all, carefully guarding each piece, until that last one is in place. And it all starts with the frame...from His point of view.

2011-02-07T18:58:00.000-08:00

It's hard having company, isn't it? Last night we had two couples over for fun food and (the game). My husband and I spent all afternoon, about four hours, cleaning and preparing our company. This was in addition to the time shopping the days before for food, which required two trips to the store because the produce trucks were delayed due to the winter "storm" that hit Texas!

By the time our company arrived, we were exhausted already. But we did open the door and greeted our visitors with a smile. We had a blast, we laughed til we cried, we ate the food, and even enjoyed Christina Aguilera (I think she has an incredible voice, even with the flub).

So...I wonder. What if we hadn't prepared anything to eat? What if the house had been a filthy mess? What if when our guests arrived, we were too ashamed to open the door and sent them away? What fun we would have missed.

There must be a lesson here somewhere. I think I need to be aware of the physical preparation I make so that my guests will feel welcome for sure, but even moreso the spiritual preparation I make for The Guest of Honor when he visits with me daily. Have I prepared him room? Have I invited him in? Am I ashamed, or do I realize He's actually the one who cleaned, prepared the meal, set the table and invited me to dine? I'm thankful he did, and he didn't just get "tired," he gave his life.

And the result? I have a good time every time we visit! (And the produce is always fresh and available for the meal...)

The Hair Cut

2011-01-30T19:27:00.000-08:00

You know the experience...

Your hair is driving you crazy, so you cannot take it any more and drop in for a haircut. You look through the books and find a new "do" that you're sure will give you a new "you." 45 minutes later, you walk out with clean smelling hair, freshly cut, much like a newly mown lawn.

You think you look so cute, until you get home and look in the mirror to realize the new "do" is not "you" at all! And after sleeping, washing, and drying your own hair, the new "do" is now the unrecognizable "do" because you cannot replicate the stylist's artistry from the day before!

You wait a few weeks,thinking you will just grow out your hair and wear it long, and then -

Your hair is driving you crazy...

The Baton

2011-01-26T15:43:00.000-08:00

Tears, laughter, amazement, disappointment, happiness, boredom, excitement, etc. You name it - sometimes we feel all of those emotions in one day. I guess you could call us emotional symphonies.

This morning I caught a glimpse of my daughter's wedding picture, taken over 2 1/2 years ago - and it brought a tear to my eye. I watched part of a show with my son, and we both laughed at something said. I was disappointed with my aging body in the mirror at one point today, but so happy that I'm healthy, wealthy, and wise (well, one out of three ain't bad). A bit of boredom set in this afternoon, although I had plenty to do - I just didn't want to do it. And I'm now excited to go to a movie tonight - which is always fun.

I suppose that's why we need Kleenexes, to wipe away tears of sadness and joy. It also explains why we have to realize there's more to life than the way we look, and I think that's called "maturity." Boredom? That's a state of mind, and a product of my energizer bunny-syndrome - where I need to be busy constantly in order to feel productive and useful. And excitement is an emotion that needs to rise above all the others on the list, awaiting the next turn of events around the corner. Like anticipating the next page in a good book!

Who's directing your symphony? Is there just a monotone of sadness today, or are you all over the place with highs and lows? I decided that each morning I'm handing the director's stick over to HIM, and I'm sitting in the seat watching his hands, following His lead. Sure makes for easy listening, and music to the ears.

The Two Uglies

2011-01-24T17:37:00.000-08:00

Jealousy and pride showed up in my heart again this weekend. Just when I think I'm maturing and full of the kind of love mentioned in I Corinthians 13, I feel this pang of wanting something someone else has, because I'm afraid I'm getting old and losing it. Or I realize that a reason behind something I do is to be seen, or to be right, instead to just be.

Yikes. I don't like it when I see that green monster in me, or when I realize I'm about to stumble with my big head atop my shoulders throwing me off balance. It's funny. I've prayed before about these very same things, asked for a change of heart,and I've felt it come. But in due time, I'm back revisiting some old habits and thought patterns.

I suppose that's why my knees remain bendable,flexible,and free to kneel. I suppose that's why my eyes are still able to look upward and see His face that remains unchanged, dotted with big eyes of compassion. And I suppose that's why my fists that I realized I've clenched in this metamorphisis can still be opened by prying my fingers apart, opening my hands and facing my palms upward for surrender.

Ahh, it's sweet relief once again to breathe deeply and feel the pink color return to my cheeks as I realize I'm made in His image, pleasing to Him. My head is resized to normal proportions as I humbly give thanks for all that I am or ever hope to be, and my fingers wiggle with delight as they tingle from the blood that starts flowing again inside my heart.

Cloudy, With a Chance of ?

2011-01-19T15:54:00.000-08:00

I know we're supposed to enjoy sunshine and "good" weather, but this one particular weatherman (who shall remain nameless) really gets under my skin when he tries to see the sun behind every cloud...every day. Come on! That's a great attitude to have about life in general, but not everyone likes the sunshine all the time!!! Here's what I love about cold, nasty, weather:

We have plenty of sunshine, I know it will return...so I welcome the rain.
We have coats, scarves and mittens that are really comfy and cozy...so I welcome the cold.
We have recipes for soups and stews...and they just taste better on a dark day.
We have logs piled up waiting to be burned - and let's admit it - it makes for a romantic evening.
We have toenails that need a rest from nail polish...so I welcome socks and boots.
We have great sky shows of lightning here in Texas...so I welcome the storms.
We have children who squeal with delight at the white stuff...so I pray for snow.

That's seven darn good reasons for dark, cloudy, cold, rainy/snowy days and hey - seven's a perfect number isn't it?

If a storm was headed our way, here's how my forecast would read -

An arctic blast is plunging south and get ready, because it's dipping all the way into South Texas! You'll want to load your fireplace, put a pot on the stove, and cozy up for the next three days because an ice storm is expected, like nothing we've seen in 50 years. Stack up on snacks and get out the board games, and hunker down. Tomorrow it will be a dark, gray day before the sleet begins...enjoy it all! I'm sorry to report that sunshine and temperatures in the 70's will return on the weekend. Goodnite.

(That photo was taken in 1918)

My Dad

2011-01-14T06:58:00.000-08:00

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. That's a cool verse, when observing the process of aging. I've seen it firsthand these past few weeks, as my dad went through heart surgery and all sorts of complications. It "seems" he's wasting away in the hospital, but I've noticed that what's inside of him is shining bright and clear.

My dad has become a favorite of the nurses at Austin Heart Hospital. After every nurse and doctor check him out (and there have been so many), Dad thanks them for the work they do, and shakes their hand. It's because of this, some of the nurses come by to say "Hi" even when they aren't scheduled for care of my dad. Dad reads his daily devotion each morning and gains strength from the hope the Word gives. One young male nurse spent an hour asking Dad questions about the bible, and Dad wasn't afraid to answer. A technician shared one evening with us that his 15 month granddaughter has been in and out of Dell Children's Hospital since she was born. My dad got out his book,wrote her name inside, and committed to pray for the little girl.

I'm amazed at the goodness of God that supercedes our flesh. I'm thrilled to see that what's inside never fades away, but only grows stronger as we age. And I count it a privilege to sit by the bed of my father as he recovers...slowly, but surely.

My dad is a strong man and I believe he's got a few more good years. But the strength that lies within his heart is beating strong and it's evident that all is well and will be...forever.

That's Church

2011-01-02T19:40:00.000-08:00

I saw a question that read - "Why do we NEED church?" I suppose that what some call "church" isn't needed at all - a place of judgment, a place of shame, or a place of rules to follow. However, "church" defined as the body of Christ, loving, giving, worshiping, and living is necessary in the life of every person.

My dad just underwent serious heart surgery several days ago, and I know that my church has been praying. Some put sticky notes on their mirrors, others got up early the morning of surgery to pray, and many wrote on FB and emails stating they were praying. That's the kind of "church" everyone needs.

At some point in all our lives, we will have a need. At some point we will all worship something. And at some point we will find it imperative to give back that which we have received. That's church.

I feel blessed to be part of a church that's not a building, but rather an entity full of breathing parts that tend to the one gasping part that's hurting.

Verbs for Christmas

2010-12-24T18:52:00.000-08:00

I laughed when I got to HEB as they were closing and saw people running with their carts through the store. I sighed as we drove home, thinking Christmas will be over after tomorrow. I cried when I thought of what Christmas might be like without one of my parents. I smiled at the thought of my 1-year old grand niece opening gifts tomorrow.

I skipped with happiness as I felt the cold breezes blow in just in time for Christmas. I coughed as this crazy "bug" I have still continues to linger. I shopped today for those last minute gifts. I enjoyed the crowds and low prices everywhere. I ate delicious food with my family at Daily Grill. I warmed by the fire on the patio as we said our good-byes (until morning).

Now...I wait with anticipation the giving and receiving. I hope everyone will be healthy tomorrow when they awake. I believe in His goodness, mercy, and grace. I love all of those He's placed in my life.

Merry Christmas to all of you who read my blog!

It's Real Now

2010-12-23T06:47:00.001-08:00

I've always heard that life is like running a race, but that analogy is now an experience, as I watch my parents age. It's always been so sad to me to watch the elderly get weaker, lose their hearing, walk slower, and fail in health. I've even wondered "Why God?" But when I see life as a race, I see my parents on the last lap, close to the finish line and I observe this:

They've run hard, overcome obstacles, kept their faith, and weathered storms. Yes, it shows on their sweet faces and bodies. And now as my dad is about to encounter a huge hurdle with open heart surgery at age 85, I am anxious for sure. However, he and mom are ahead of me, about to cross the finish line soon, and of course they're tired, worn out, and exhausted. But what lies ahead is glorious for them.

I'm somewhere on that track, and my kids are behind me, and their kids are entering the race to come... But we're all headed for the finish line where cheers await, flags will fly, and awards will be granted. My parents are an inspiration to me to keep up my faith, to keep running on the same track, and to be inspired by their stamina ahead of me.

I watch and I marvel at the goodness of the coach who has kept us all on the track, running strong... and I fully expect dad to leap over this next hurdle without tipping it over and land on his feet running...either here...or there...and we'll all be right behind him. Maybe weary, maybe tired...but truly inspired.

She Prays for Me

2010-12-15T04:29:00.000-08:00

We sponsor a child in Bolivia through Compassion Ministries. Honestly, when we signed up (about two years ago) we did it because we wanted to give, but it was just a monthly deduction out of our acccount, and we didn't give it much thought. Dutifully, we wrote our little girl (when we remembered) and she too wrote us, from time to time. It seemed another "chore" on our list of things to do...write our Compassion child...remember to pray for her. Not sure if this kind of giving won us any points in heaven...

So this season, we made sure to send something "extra" so that she could have a Christmas gift. We wrote her a letter again, asking a few questions about the weather there, her favorite foods, etc. This week we received a letter from her that her father helped her write, to answer our questions. She ended it by telling us that she loves to pray for us.

What? She prays for us? This little girl, who was an object of curiosity for us, a conscience-freeing donation on our Christian acts of kindness, and a name in a faraway place, likes to pray for me? That blew me away and convicted me deeply.

People don't need our acts of kindness so that we can feel better about ourselves. They need our prayers, our love, and genuine interest. What if...some of my prayers have been answered, blessings have come my way, and I've received mercy all because my little girl in Bolivia prayed for me!

She's not just a face on my refrigerator magnet anymore. She's real, she considers me family, and she loves me. Shame on me for not loving her first.

Embrace the Tension

2010-12-08T15:42:00.001-08:00

So...I made some food gifts for my co-workers and I just finished today, just in time for the party tomorrow. What was I thinking? Buckets of caramel corn, small stackable tins of homemade meat rubs, a jar of pecan cheese crackers, and chocolate covered peanuts, all made from my "loving" kitchen and placed in cute, crafty wrappings. It was a lot of hard work, and took up time I really didn't have to give!

My husband asked me why I did such a thing, my sister shook her head, and I myself looked at the pile of ingredients and sighed, wondering what I had gotten myself into. However, today I received an email from a friend that stated, "Embrace the tension."

I love that! That's just what I did. I took my arms and got to work, lovingly making these gifts, because I wanted to do it - that's why. I know it was crazy, but it's Christmas, I enjoy making things, and though it created tension - was it worth it? I think so.

Some will choose to skip the lights this year, forego the wassail, stay away from the crowded stores, and maybe never even listen to a Christmas carol. They might "sleep in heavenly peace" without all of the tension that comes with the preparation, but will they really embrace the season? Sometimes an embrace is worth the unfolding of the arms, the stretching out and hugging, even if it does take a little effort.

I don't want flabby arms from settling for peace that comes from no conflict. I'm embracing the tension, and it feels like I'm getting a little stronger, actually. Are you?

The Invisible Blade

2010-11-29T19:02:00.001-08:00

I awoke early this morning before the sun was up, and I couldn't sleep, so I stared at the ceiling. It was then that I saw my ceiling fan, which has five blades, but only four were visible. The little bit of light coming through the windows was illuminating the four blades, but the one blade on the other side was completely in the dark.

This intrigued me and kept me awake for a bit. I realized that it really didn't bother me about the invisble fan blade, because I knew it was there, even in the dark. I had seen it before, and I realized that when the sun was fully out, I'd see all five blades once again.

So what? I'm glad you asked. I just thought of how life is like an early morning sunrise. Some things that aren't clearly visible just have to be accepted in faith, knowing the little bit of light we're experiencing now is only going to grow until all things are exposed. But until that time, I need to just rest, because I know that things are in place, I know the "son" is rising, I know the one who made everything I see, and don't see.

Peaceful Freedom

2010-11-28T18:45:00.000-08:00

This morning I continued with my pursuit of peace, ongoing for a couple of months now. I'm reading all verses in the Bible that include "peace" in the text. It started as an exercise in search of peace to alleviate some of the fears that I struggle with. I've learned a lot.

So today the passage was where Peter was thrown into prison,and then due to a miracle from God, and due to friends praying, he was released and appeared to those praying. They thought he wasn't real, as I guess they never expected an answer to their prayer. The passage was interesting, but as I was reading, I realized something. Something I knew, but I had laid aside...

I have peace with God. I've been set free from the chains of self, sin, and sadness. That's the internal peace I've forgotten completely, while I've been in pursuit of external peace in my circumstances and to calm my confused mind. I have taken for granted the peace I carry with me, the peace that grants me access to the holy God.

Wow, I'm sorry I've put my pursuit of peace out in front of the One who pursued me, and infused me with life...when I was dying. I'm still in pursuit of peace, but I'm at peace while I run...

Samples

2010-11-24T07:34:00.000-08:00

So why do people stand in line, 10-20 people deep, to wait for a "sample" of a food item that's no bigger than a golf ball? We were out shopping at Sur la Table and homemade ice cream was being served, just a small dollop. When I got my sample, there was only one person ahead of me, but in a few minutes, it was almost to the front door! Is it because they're hungry? It's can't be - the sample isn't big enough to satisfy hunger. Is it because they're bored? Impossible! There are store galore and eye teasers everywhere! So what is it?

For me, I was interested in the product making the ice cream, thinking of possibly buying it. And...the ice cream looked yummy. But would I wait in a long line? I doubt it. I suppose if I saw the long line,I might think "What's so great that these people will wait? Maybe I should try it."

I guess I just wonder if I'm offering any enticing sample of Him that would make anyone at all stop, get in line, and wait for a taste of what I'm serving up. I hope so. I hope that when I smile, it's genuine, and it warms a friend's heart. I also hope that when I open the door for an elderly woman, she knows she has value.

I just hope to understand what makes people hungry for just a bite of something good. And when I figure it out, I plan to serve it to all who pass by. Who knows, they just might want to know the One behind the dollop in my cup.

Park the Car Already

2010-11-17T15:21:00.000-08:00

I wonder if the way we park in...say...the parking lot at Target reveals anything about our character? For instance, if we don't want anyone to hit or scrape our new car, we park away from the congested area. If we're tired and don't feel like walking, we'll drive around repeatedly until we find a space close to the front door, and conversely - if we're feeling a bit pudgy in need of shedding a few calories, we might park far away so we "have" to walk. Or...sometimes we're that individual who pulls up to the curb to jump out and get our "one" item because we don't even have the time to park! Today I parked near the cart return, so when I came out it would be easy to unload and go quickly.

So what makes me even think about this? Our new car got a scrape from a driver who didn't bother to leave us a note. My husband says that's theft. I say, "How rude."

But I think...is my character around a group of people similar to where I park a car? Am I "protective" of my time and space, afraid of being "scraped?" Am I unwilling to go the extra mile, if need be, to get rid of my unwanted extra baggage, or am I always in a hurry to get in and get out, even with relationships? And finally, am I always thinking about myself, what I have to do, and how I can do it in the most efficient manner possible, to avoid the congestion of those annoying people who dare to be out at the same time as me?

Just something I'm pondering...

Delightful

2010-11-16T19:36:00.001-08:00

An English Coffeehouse in Round Rock, Texas just might be my favorite new place to eat. It's got the atmosphere I love, dark furniture, wood floors, coffee cups lined the walls behind a long counter, and fresh bread and pastries filled a glass case.

Our first tasting was the tomato basil soup - deliciously warm and good. We shared a chicken waldorf sandwich that came with a salad and chips. I forgot to mention that small sugar cookies came with the hot tea! Our last dish was a cheese plate (blueberry cheese, cranberry, some sort of nut cheese and brie) with chutney, grapes and celery. That's my kind of meal!

After we ate, we chose some fresh pastry desserts from the variety they had to offer, and a loaf of sliced bread for sandwiches at home. This place was Friar Tuck's Pantry on Main Street. Everything I love was there - and we sat near the window so we could people watch as we ate.

This experience sure beat out a burger & fries, a greasy enchilada dinner, and those nasty chain restaurants. It was the perfect start to an afternoon of Christmas shopping on a cool November Sunday last weekend...

Thoughts

2010-11-15T14:25:00.000-08:00

I was ironing yesterday - my favorite household chore - honestly. I think while I iron, and my mind was on overload with thoughts of my aging parents and my dad's upcoming surgery, my own realization of sin I still encounter and how I'm just always a work in progress, and just discouragement of all kind. As I watched the wrinkles disappear with the stroke of the iron (which is why I enjoy ironing - that's so cool!) I felt I heard HIM tell me that we're all sort of like that wrinkled shirt.

We who are believers have been "washed" clean, but we come out still wrinkled from our flesh and it takes a lifetime of "ironing" with applied heat, a steady hand (His), and sometimes extra "water" to get those set-in wrinkles out. I thought of my parents and how they're on perhaps the collar, or one little piece that needs attention, but they're pressing is almost over, and they'll be good as new, fresh and "wearable." Some of us have just started under the heat of the iron, and others are halfway through, or further. But the wrinkles are coming out, one strong stroke of His hand at a time.

Somehow I found comfort in these thoughts, and I was so completely satisfied when I handed the pressed shirt to my son to wear - warm, appealing, and without "spot or wrinkle."

We're all under the iron and the heat, but it's all for the presentation and the glory that's coming...

2010-11-06T19:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was in the office where we produce Austin Faith & Family Magazine,and I ordered pizza for the graphic artist and myself, as we were the only ones there. She got a call and had to leave for a short bit, and locked the door behind her - the deadbolt - and I didn't have a key to unlock it from inside.

The pizza guy shows up and I can't open the door. Hilarious, right? I'm running around frantically trying to decide what to do to pay this guy his money and get the pizza inside. There was a connecting door on the wall between our office and our neighbor (whom I'd never met) so I knocked, loudly. The guy next door didn't have a key to unlock that door either. More hilarity ensued. Are you laughing yet?

So I proceeded to tell him my dilemma, and I squeezed a $20 bill under the door so he could pay the pizza guy whom I yelled at through the wall, to move on down next door to get his pay. He left the pizza next door and I still couldn't get it to eat, since pizza doesn't slide well under a 1/4 inch crack.

Thankfully, Abby showed up and I was able to get the pizza quickly from next door, without that guy ever seeing my face. He even tipped the delivery guy for me and left my change by the pizza box!

Honestly, my life is never boring. Somehow, hilarity and craziness follow me (could it be part of that goodness and mercy?) every day... By the way, I ended the night falling as I exited the movie theater...but no worries - I'm okay.